What self-help books does a self-help author read?

Dr Bex Bell is an author, speaker, coach and founder of Remix Coaching and Consulting. She has applied her background in criminal psychology, health promotion and fitness to write Inner Critic to Inner Coach: How to Heal the Imposter Syndrome, End Self-Sabotage and Own Your Greatness (Upstart Press, RRP: $39.99).

What lessons from criminal psychology, and your work in prisons, can be applied to folks struggling with everyday things?

I’ve learned whether I’m talking to gang members in prison, or senior executives, underneath it all we’re just human beings.

No matter where you’re from, or whether you’re walking a prosocial or antisocial path through life, we all ultimately want the same things: to belong, to be accepted by others, and to matter. We all struggle with the same things to varying degrees too: feeling lost sometimes, being critical of ourselves, feeling overwhelmed by uncomfortable emotions, and behaving in ways we’re not always proud of.

There are fundamental psychological skills that are helpful across the board. For example, developing self-awareness around thought patterns that lead to self-sabotage behaviours. Or learning how to relate to the parts of yourself that you don’t like with self-compassion rather than shame. Or making decisions based on your values and what matters most to you versus making decisions based on fear.

Does everyone have self-doubt?

Self-doubt is a normal part of the human experience. Impostor Syndrome is a specific type of self-doubt related to how we perceive our own competence. No matter how much we accomplish or achieve, we never feel as competent as others think we are. It’s an experience that can affect people from all walks of life, including prominent world leaders. I haven’t heard Donald Trump talk about feeling like an impostor, but given how common it is, it’s completely plausible he might feel like that sometimes. Michelle Obama is one example of a prominent leader who has spoken openly about her impostor feelings never really going away. She describes that every time she speaks to an audience, she questions why anyone would want to listen to her.

Self-help books are a huge space – how do you make yours stand out?

As I state in the book, your “you-ness” is your greatest asset and ultimate superpower. I embody this idea in my work and writing. It comes from my heart and is often inspired by my own raw, real experiences... I also try to answer the “so what?” question for people in a way that will enhance their quality of life. That is, translating the geeky conceptual, academic science-y stuff into practical, actionable methods... that will help us to do our best work, and live our best life.

Lastly, what are you reading right now?

The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You (Michael Gervais); Claim your Power (Mastin Kipp); The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find your Path Forward (Britt Frank); Unlocked: Embrace your Greatness, Find the Flow, Discover Success (George Mumford).