Sunday Star-Times - Sunday Magazine - - NEWS - Robyn Sal­is­bury is a clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist. Email ques­tions to MrsSal­is­bury@sex­ther­

I have the most em­bar­rass­ing ques­tion in the world, so this had bet­ter be con­fi­den­tial. I get too wet when I’m turned on during sex and that means my part­ner just slips in and out and I can hardly feel him.

He says it’s not a prob­lem and he still gets plea­sure. I think he’s got an av­er­age sized pe­nis and he gets very hard so it’s not him.

Some­thing must be wrong in my body, is it cor­rectable? I’m too em­bar­rassed to ask my doc­tor.

Is there an op­er­a­tion to make my vagina en­trance smaller so I can at least feel what’s hap­pen­ing or are there ex­er­cises I can do?

It hap­pens be­fore or­gasm so it’s not the squirt­ing during or­gasm I’ve read about and it’s definitely not urine. You’re not the first per­son who has asked me about pro­duc­ing ex­ces­sive lu­bri­ca­tion – and there are ways to deal with it – so don’t worry. It’s great you can read­ily get turned on, it’s just your body does too good a job while other women’s bod­ies strug­gle to pro­duce any nat­u­ral lu­bri­ca­tion. As you get older, this prob­lem may re­duce by it­self, but let’s fo­cus on how to man­age it right now so you have many years of thor­oughly en­joy­able sex ahead.

You can put a men­strual sea sponge inside your vagina be­fore in­ter­course. It will soak up much of the lu­bri­ca­tion; one of you will just need long fin­gers to get it out af­ter­wards. Read on­line for how to care for it. Al­ter­na­tively, try us­ing a con­dom to add more fric­tion or try hav­ing a soft cot­ton cloth handy and have your part­ner in­cor­po­rate gen­tle wip­ing up of the ex­cess mois­ture as part of your love­mak­ing. You may want to try tak­ing a de­con­ges­tant be­fore sex as it dries mu­cosal tis­sues out. Pelvic floor ex­er­cises are use­ful for ev­ery­one. Iden­tify the mus­cles you clench when you’re rush­ing to the loo to pee. En­vis­age these mus­cles at the en­trance to the vagina as if they are a hor­i­zon­tal ver­sion of the sa­loon doors in the old cow­boy movies and swing them up and down.

Ul­ti­mately, in­creas­ing your plea­sure will also in­volve iden­ti­fy­ing what kinds of fric­tion you’re seek­ing and en­sur­ing you use one or more of these strate­gies to achieve it.

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