Sex advice with Mrs Salisbury
I’m 21 and have been to the men’s medical clinic, where I was advised I experience condom shyness as I am unable to maintain an erection while putting on a condom. This was a relief to hear as it was easily fixed by taking Vedafil, which helps with erectile dysfunction (something I don’t have as
I am fine when I don’t use a condom).
My partner knows I have this problem and that I take Vedafil. The problem now is that I never know when to take it because I don’t know when we are going to have sex. It’s effective for four hours so I’m always anticipating when we might have sex and this takes up too much of my mind and I go through a lot of expensive pills, or I am caught out when I don’t have the pills with me or forget to take them, which means I cannot perform, which is not a good feeling at all! It’s also awkward and unnatural to ask when we are going to have sex next so I know when to take them. She doesn’t want to take the pill as it has a negative effect on her mood. She is also my first sexual partner, which is good because she has been understanding, however I am aware of the possibility that she may not be my only. So what do I do in future relationships where the partner does not know of this problem?
This drug is meant to work within half an hour of taking it, so you could wait until an opportunity arises where you both want sex then pay divine attention to kissing, caressing and cuddling until you’re both ready for intercourse – if that is the goal – or whatever else you two want to do with your erection.
However, I’m concerned at you using a drug for erectile dysfunction when actually your equipment works fine. Who puts the condom on? Address your anxiety directly by putting the condom on together as part of your love play.
Get your mind on your side by practising envisaging this happening successfully and reminding yourself that erections that go away can come back if you stay calm and shift your focus well away from performance onto pleasuring each other. This is what lovemaking is about.
I’d also encourage you two to have some practice sessions when your partner is not wanting intercourse, so there’s no pressure.