Are New Zealanders really all part of one big happy family?
Ahead of Waitangi Day and in the final part of our series on what it means to be a Kiwi, Simon Day looks at multi-culturalism.
FOR SEVEN years, Barry Lowe’s parents refused to meet his partner, Sue Pearl. His father had migrated to New Zealand from China in the late 30s and ran a fruit shop with Barry’s grandfather. He brought his wife and an infant Barry over from Hong Kong in the 1950s.
They rejected Sue out of fear for their grandchildren. What would AsianJewish-European children look like? And where would they fit in?
Sue’s Jewish grandfather had fled Europe before World War II to the corner of earth farthest from Hitler’s Germany. She understood what it meant to be different.
She liked all the things that made Barry Chinese: the language, the food and the culture.
‘‘I had awareness of difference, so it was shocking to be road-blocked with our relationship like that. It was about cultural difference,’’ Sue said.
Then, one day, before the couple left for their OE, Barry’s mother told him that when they returned they would accept Sue into the family.
But with more than 10 per cent of New Zealand identifying with more than one ethnic group, the grandparents were right. Sue and Barry’s children have had to negotiate difficult issues of identity growing up in New Zealand.
Their eldest daughter, Nicky, who is ‘‘very obviously Eurasian’’, has struggled with her ethnic identity.
‘‘She has never managed to not be Chinese. She has wanted to be white, but she can’t get away from looking and feeling Chinese,’’ said Barry.
Nicky is engaged to the son of Taiwanese migrants.
Sue and Barry’s youngest son, Richard, has taken a very traditional Chinese girlfriend – a real surprise to his parents.
‘‘It speaks of the era that a 21-year-old grew up in and what was his playing field at primary school and his immersion with other cultures,’’ Sue said. LINDA STRICKSON met Mua Pua in Marriage and Kinship 101 at Massey University in Palmerston North in 1982. They were wed within the year.
The marriage opened their eyes to the complex diversity of New Zealand. Their relationship questioned their understanding of the value of the people and cultures of this country.
‘‘I always thought I was going to marry a Samoan, so when Linda courageously challenged me about that I had to go away and think. That is a paradigm shift, that is opening up new expectations,’’ said Mua, a poetry-writing reverend of Samoan, Chinese and Irish descent.
Before the couple could become Strickson-Pua, Mua had to send a formal letter to his family asking for an opportunity to talk about their plans for marriage and Linda had to be interviewed by Mua’s family.
Linda discovered that her history – her father migrated to New Zealand from England in 1953 – had its own value.
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