Taste, froth and flagons
So long and thanks for all the ale: the end of chapter one of my beer life.
So we’ve come to the end of the journey in this vehicle which means it’s time to reflect, pull out some memories and generally rule a line under this column.
Thanks for the suggestions as to how to wind up proceedings in the Sunday Star-Times — from the 100 beers to try before you die, to top 10 beer epiphanies. I’ve taken elements of those suggestions as a combination of questions, musings and beliefs to create a BuzzFeed-style sign-off of 17 things about beer. Most over-hyped beer: A lot of beer is over-hyped by the marketing teams responsible for trying to sell a product on image rather than taste but the prize here goes to Crafty Beggars, which claimed it had a team of nine brewers working on its product. Probably nine too many. Most under-hyped beer: Townshend Old House ESB is an almost perfect drop of ale which never fails to hit the spot and deserves way more praise than it gets. And it’s made by just one brewer. Five favourite first beer moments: Epic Hop Zombie — at Pomeroy’s in Christchurch — I was gobsmacked at the balance and voluptuous beauty; Yeastie Boys Gunnamatta on my sofa on a Wednesday evening in late summer — I was transported to a distant, tropical summer; Emerson’s Pilsner on tap at Martinborough Hotel on Christmas Eve — very hungover on Christmas day, very happy to have discovered and understood the simple beauty of this beer; 8 Wired iStout – in my kitchen talking to myself out loud about how good it was; Garage Project Umami Monster – on a whim at Brothers Beer as I waited for a flagon to be filled. . . oh my God, fish, salt, chocolate, sweet, bitter, sour. . everything. Best thing I’ve ever done with beer: Starting my local beer-tasting club. We meet once a month to sample what’s new and interesting. We have about 100ml of eight different beers — it’s a great way to find out what you really like. Find some friends and experiment. Worst thing I’ve ever done with beer: Tipped it down the sink. While there’s a saying I often quote about all beer being good, but some beer being better, some beer is just not worth finishing and I’m afraid to say on a couple of occasions whatever I was drinking went down the sink. I should have used it for cooking. Does this mean I have become a beer snob?: Yes. I like flavour and don’t drink alcohol for the sake of it so there are plenty of beers I’ll turn up my nose at. Embarrassing moments in beer: When I started this column it allowed me to indulge my love of beer — which at the time exceeded my knowledge so some of those early columns were, shall we say, naı¨ve and I apologise; the time I drank a 1.25L rigger of the fresh-hopped Tuatara Mayday, the 10.5 per cent prototype of Double Trouble, and fell asleep face down on Sunday afternoon; trying to carbonate a home brew using Sodastream. . . Man, it’s hard to clean beer off the roof. Saviours from embarrassment in beer: There are many, many people who have furthered my beer education with their patience, support, enthusiasm, offerings of samples and general goodness. They include, in no particular order, Luke Nicholas of Epic, Richard Emerson, Stu McKinlay of Yeastie Boys, Jos Ruffell of Garage Project, Sean Murrie of Tuatara, Joseph Wood of Liberty, Steve Plowman of Hallertau, Ralph Bungard of Three Boys and the Brewers Guild beer writers Neil Miller, Phil Cook and Jono Galuszka, David Cryer of Beervana and Cryer Malt, Craig Bowen of BeerNZ, and Dominic Kelly of Beer Without Borders. Best thing beer has done for me: Allowed me to write Beer Nation – The Art and Heart of Kiwi Beer. Best book I didn’t write about beer: The Froth Blowers Manual by Pat Lalor Best beers I helped make: Epic’s Message in a Bottle, followed by Emerson’s Hop off the Press and Hallertau’s Horseradish Beer. Best interview subjects: Doug Myers (Lion), Greg Koch (Stone), Roger Pink (Pink Elephant), Geoff Logan (Sunshine), Sam Calagione (Dogfish Head). Favourite back story: Invercargill’s Men ‘n Skurtts — an accidental brew which came about at Invercargill Brewing Company when some 100 per cent peat-smoked malt from Yeastie Boys’ Rex Attitude cross-contaminated a Pink Elephant Mammoth to produce a smoked strong ale which Invercargill realised was very drinkable and marketed as a seasonal special. It’s now a regular and worth a try. Biggest issues in beer: 1) The new prohibitionists from the health lobby trying to curb what we drink, when we drink, how we drink. Yes, binge brinking is bad but it’s been around since Bacchus went on his first bender and sometimes drinking a little more than recommended is actually fun. It makes us happy. 2) Men who run beer companies failing to understand women also like beer and often buy it for themselves or the men in their lives. Wise up and get much better advertising. Non-issues in beer: Defining craft. Don’t know, past caring, as long as it tastes nice it’s fine by me. Great wisdom I must impart in my closing comments: Hoppy beer makes you pee. A dozen Kiwi beers I’d like in a gift crate (one beer per brewer): Epic Hop Zombie, Liberty C!tra, Panhead The Vandal, 8-Wired Big Smoke, Garage Project Red Rocks Reserve, Invercargill Smokin’ Bishop, Yeastie Boys Gunnamatta, Townshend’s Old House ESB, Schippers’ Scallywag, Wigram The Czar, Cassels & Sons Milk Stout, Moa Sour Blanc.
From September, Pint of View will appear in Your Weekend magazine, published in the Saturday editions of the Dominion Post, Christchurch Press and Waikato Times. You can still find me on Twitter: @mjwd.