Leading the news .
A 37-strong New Zealand Urban Search and Rescue team assembles in Auckland and prepares two tonnes of gear to take to Nepal to assist with earthquake recovery. The Nepalese government eventually declines the offer but the team make the best of their prep work by going door to door in Auckland offering to retrieve coins from sofa crevasses.
Prime Minister John Key says his wife, Bronagh, will wear a scarf on her head during their visit to Saudi Arabia as a matter of respect. He says he’s optimistic the Saudis will show her head equal respect by not trying to cut it off.
TUESDAY
The Palmerston North Rotary Club delivers 40 dictionaries to Manawatu Prison in the hope of boosting literacy rates. Early feedback from the prisoners has been mixed, with many complaining that the dictionaries are ‘‘hard to sharpen’’.
Travel publisher Lonely Planet removes campervan hire company Wicked Campers from its New Zealand guidebooks because of ‘‘offensive slogans’’ the company writes on its vans. A spokesperson for Lonely Planet says the removal is the first step in making the travel guide more family friendly. Step two is removing all references to Waipu and Whakapapa.
Auckland restaurant Molten responds to a critical online review by writing its own negative review of the diners on its Facebook page. It’s become more common for unhappy customers to post criticism anonymously online, with one Parnell cafe currently dealing with the reviews of user JK61 who gave their staff an ‘‘A+ for ponytails but F for sense of humour. Would not pull again.’’
John Key meets the Saudi Arabian king. Despite pressure from opposition parties and media to raise issues around human rights, Key says he didn’t specifically raise the issue of gender equality, though he tried to look disapproving when a woman was stoned to death for pushing in front of him at the buffet.
Great-great-grandmother Mary Manssen claims the title of New Zealand’s oldest female bungy jumper, after jumping off Queenstown’s Kawerau Bridge. The 91-year-old said that during the jump her life flashed before her eyes, and was continuing to flash before her eyes at press time.
More details of Prince Harry’s itinerary in New Zealand are released. He’ll be visiting a number of places including Ulva near Stewart Island, a famous birdwatching spot. The young prince is currently working out how to tell local tour organisers that they’ve misinterpreted his request to ‘‘check out some New Zealand chicks’’.
THURSDAY
The Guinness Book of World Records confirms that a Timaru farming couple have broken a 25-year-old world record for the highest yielding barley crop, achieving 13.8 tonnes on 1 hectare. The crop was harvested by the couple and seven farmhands, a group now called The Barley Nine.
The Justice and Electoral select committee hears a submission from Michael Gibson who says school-age children should be given voting rights in New Zealand. Critics say it’s a ridiculous proposal, and that if kids could vote they’d ignore the issues and elect some sort of a childish hairpulling clown, more interested in entertaining voters than dealing with complex problems.
FRIDAY
Wellington City Council spends $100,000 on a new marketing campaign encouraging residents to act in ‘‘The Wellington Way’’. Their wish is granted, with the next 24 hours devoted to distinctly Wellington activities: arguing over the campaign’s merits, worrying what the rest of the country will think and bitching about it in the media.
Grey Power says elderly residents of Wellington City Council flats are being forced to pay extra money for ultrafast broadband they don’t need. The high-speed fibre connection can be used to stream television, download movies and play online games, though 90 per cent of usage has been googling the phrase ‘‘When will my children visit?’’
Fallout continues over Gloriavale, an isolated community in the South Island. People who’ve left the community speak of its religious fundamentalism, gender inequality and abuse of human rights. Speaking from Saudi Arabia, John Key says it sounds like an ideal trading partner.