Letter of the WEEK

I had been Laurence Black’s main carer for two years. He had already talked a few times to his GP and at hospital about not wanting his life artificially prolonged. The day before he died he was given a mental status examination which he passed easily.

The next morning three doctors told us of a new diagnosis, and that he was too weak for an operation. Would we tell them what we wanted? When they came back Laurence said he was ready to die. Nothing more was said; everything was disconnected except the oxygen mask.

After the doctors left, Laurence took the oxygen mask off with a surge of energy and enthusiasm. The journey had begun; he died three hours later holding my hand.

Twice a nurse arrived to give him a sedative but I objected. Laurence wanted to totally experience his death; this was a spiritual person. While the day before he had needed morphine, today he felt no pain because he was having an out of body experience.

I moistened his lips with water. Three hours later after it seemed all life had departed he still held my hand so I waited. A nurse came in and confirmed he had died.

Laurence’s dinner was brought in, I kept it for me so I could affirm my own survival and celebrate the beautiful passing away of this incredible person. His website, Wholism for World Peace New Zealand is all that remains; he was too humble to promote it.

Caroline Mabry, Glen Eden