Rules for a zen-like spa experience
Kiwis perhaps. Swedes letting it all hang out in the sauna, we are not.
Another issue was not knowing what to do when you walk in, from steam, shower, sauna procedures to the most basic question regarding what to (not) wear. Questions easily answered by staff in Rotorua or Queenstown, but less forthcoming in Phuket, Kyoto, Stockholm or Istanbul.
Industry experts will harp on about getting what you pay for in terms of communicative spa hosts and their guiding of etiquette but that’s not to say the top tier hotel spas don’t have issues too.
Sure, pay a tenner in Thailand for an awkward 60 minutes of back and toe clicking with a dark room full of strangers and minimal clothing and it’s a bit of a laugh, but the vigorous spa staff at the Four Seasons in Istanbul left me rather bloodied and tender after salt scrubbing me within an inch of my life.
Followed by an application of what felt like paint stripper. This exercise in pain and humiliation was a freebie included with the room we were in – but some sadistic guests the world over pay hundreds to resemble a tenderised chicken breast. Now that’s stressful.
Communicate – even if only in basic words, mimes and pointing. Better yet speak to the receptionist for specific requests if you’re unsure if your masseuse speaks English.
Show up early, giving yourself more time in the relaxation room, pools, showers, saunas or other extra facilities.
Research the various cultural norms if opting for local facilities – what’s OK in an onsen in Japan could be very strange behaviour for a US spa resort. If in doubt about appropriate attire ask when making your reservation.
For cruise ships and hotel stays make reservations a priority as your holiday itinerary will likely mirror other travellers.
You’re paying a stranger to rub, scrub and pummel you, so make life easy by arriving clean, odour-free and mintybreathed.
And, lads, no ‘‘happy ending’’ jokes.
One of the pitfalls of the holiday massage is a likely cultural clash if not a total communication failure.