Elite Kiwi athletes fed up with critics slamming size
Three leading Kiwi sportspeople open up on their struggles with body image while in the public eye. Olivia Caldwell reports.
To reach the top there are sacrifices professional athletes have to make and one of those is developing and keeping their bodies in the best shape for their sport.
While many athletes make this look natural, it does not come easily for everyone.
Former Black Caps batsman Jesse Ryder, former Silver Ferns shooter Cathrine Tuivaiti and one of New Zealand’s most successful triathletes, Andrea Hewitt, have all battled with body image and say it has been an inescapable topic.
Ryder, who played 48 one-day games and 18 tests for the Black Caps, said while he is at ease with his image now, it was a tough lesson when he first arrived on the international cricketing scene.
Ryder was 23 when he debuted and said getting criticised for his fitness and appearance came with the territory of being bigger than his team-mates.
‘‘I think early on when I first came on the scene there was always a bit of chat around it [my weight]. I guess the only time it sort of fazed me the most was early on, but later on, it didn’t faze me. I just got used to it all.
‘‘I guess it was something I never really thought of when I was growing up when I was playing . . . I guess it’s always been something there, or thereabouts throughout my career.’’
Getting used to media critics, coaches’ demands and the general public through social media is something professionals are paid to do, but when body image became a reason for non-selection, Ryder started to shed a few kilos. At one stage Ryder lost 15kg in a matter of months.
While he felt lighter on the pitch, weight loss didn’t make him a better batsman.
‘‘I remember one time ‘Wrighty’ [former Black Caps coach John Wright] made me lose five kilos, so I got back and I had done it. But still he thought that I hadn’t done it so we were arguing about it. It ended up being quite funny in the end.’’
Ryder said the longer he was in top-level cricket, the issues around his weight became less documented and he began to feel more relaxed and concentrate on his game.
‘‘I think when I was younger and a bit more of a loose unit at times it would piss me off more than anything. But it never affected my game play or how I felt, or anything like that.’’
While the New Zealand public can be harsh and confronting at times, he never let criticism get to him mentally .
‘‘It’s never really hurt my feelings, it’s part and parcel when you’re a bigger dude, so it didn’t really faze me too much.
‘‘There was always stuff in the media but you can’t really take too much out of that, you just go about your business and all I care about is playing the game. I didn’t lose any passion for the game over anything like that.’’
Ryder admits his body image wasn’t the only issue. Off-field incidents that involved alcohol and late nights while involved in the Black Caps, some directly after matches, saw him lose his place in the squad.
‘‘There are always going to be people that are going to try to come out and ruffle feathers, so I think as an athlete if you’re a bit different you’ve just got to expect it and don’t let it faze you. I’ve always been a pretty loose unit growing up and stuff like that, I always enjoyed myself with my mates off the park. I think as I’ve got older I’ve chilled out a lot more towards everything, so it’s just about enjoying the game now.’’
At 33, Ryder believes he is the best version of himself, but isn’t holding his breath for another Black Caps’ call-up.
‘‘I think that ship has almost sailed or pretty much sailed anyway. There was hopes a couple of years ago after chatting to them, but I haven’t talked to them since that meeting. It’s something I don’t really think about to be fair.’’
WEARING THE BLACK DRESS
Former Silver Ferns goal-shoot Tuivaiti makes no secret of her battle with weight during her netball career, but now at age 31 she is more at ease.
It wasn’t always this way and although she says it never affected her game on the court, she was aware of the public comparing her with former and present players. She always felt she didn’t live up to Kiwi expectations of what a Silver Fern ‘‘should look like’’.
‘‘I was unfortunate for a few years as I had to stand next to Maria [Folau, nee Tutaia]. Even now people come up to me and say I’m not as big as what they thought.’’
In 2016 she copped criticism on social media over her weight, which she reacted to publicly by saying cyber-bullying is not okay.
Tuivaiti left home at 14 and because of this says she developed a thick skin early on, and the public’s comments about her weight never hurt her feelings. But she was never going to take it without a fight.
‘‘I am such a defensive person and some of my journey has been hard. I left home quite young and at school I couldn’t blend in so that turned into a defensive thing for me. I’ve had to stick up for myself and I still do. I am protective of myself and my feelings.’’
While she became more at ease with her body, she stands by her netball performances.
But the Silver Ferns’ selectors had different ideas when they dropped her from the squad early in 2017. She wasn’t spoken to personally and read in the media it was because of her fitness.
‘‘This situation in particular is more just a cop-out than anything. What easier way than to pin it [non-selection] on someone as big as me than fitness? Of course they [the public] bought what the Silver Ferns were selling.
‘‘I am an elite athlete, but I was obviously bigger than everyone
I think that ship [Black Caps selection] has almost sailed or pretty much sailed anyway. There was hopes a couple of years ago after chatting to them but I haven’t talked to them since that meeting. Jesse Ryder
I never thought I had an issue with weight until that point. When I was told that I had to cut back on food . . . I realised this didn’t work for me, so I dropped the emphasis on diet and focused more on my training. Andrea Hewitt
else. I truly believe it was easier to throw that at me because I was bigger. It is all just a really terrible situation, I haven’t been spoken to and it’s been over nine months.
‘‘Saying it was based on fitness is just disrespectful. I tried to be as good as I can and if my fitness was under question, maybe the others were too. I am a lot faster and fitter than people think I am.’’
While Tuivaiti has accepted her dropping and moved on with the Adelaide Thunderbirds, she would have liked to have had a conversation with selectors.
‘‘I have a very different body shape to others, I am never going to be as skinny as Maria. I may not be completely confident in my body, but I am confident in what I am good at.
‘‘Yeah, I lost that weight, but I was the same player that everyone knew, I was just smaller. It is shit we have to look a certain way.’’
She says she didn’t feel any better about herself at her lightest weight and even now, while she carries extra weight due to an injury, she doesn’t wish she was a certain size.
Netball players often battle with body image, and Tuivaiti said she has seen team-mates struggle to the point of developing eating disorders.
‘‘It is sad. We have all this pressure to look a certain way and at the end of the day we are women and we want what we can’t have. But we don’t have to look like what people say. I have seen a friend’s body fluctuate before my very eyes.
‘‘We don’t have to look like supermodels, we are athletes and we are allowed to have muscles and curves.
‘‘You can’t catch a ball with your abs.’’
WHEN SWIMWEAR IS UNIFORM
On the opposite side of the scale triathletes are some of the fittest, thinnest elite athletes in sport. However, Kiwi star Andrea Hewitt says there is always pressure on them to lose weight so they are lighter on the course.
Early in her career, Hewitt’s coach of the time told her to lose weight and sent her to a nutritionist.
‘‘There is a general perception in triathlon that being skinny is related to being fast. But there are healthy ways to be skinny and it is all about balance.
‘‘I never thought I had an issue with weight until that point. Where I was told that I had to cut back on food . . . it didn’t take me long before I realised this didn’t work for me, so I dropped the emphasis on diet and focused more on my training.’’
Hewitt said in triathlon there are many men and women with body image issues, some of which can turn unhealthy.
‘‘Lots of them yo-yo with their weight because it’s usually not sustainable to stay at their recommended competition weight, or maintain such a high level of training all year. I would say it’s not necessarily how they want to look, but more how lean they think they need to be to race fast.
‘‘Most endurance sports require a very lean physique without too much muscle mass in order to be efficient over a long race. This leads to some athletes taking extreme measures to lose weight in a short period of time, which often results in an eating disorder. In my experience, it’s not a sustainable long-term solution for triathlon. Balanced eating along with consistent training is the best way to perform well.’’
Hewitt said she is one of the lucky ones who has never been self-conscious about how she looks in her togs.
‘‘Yes, I’m aware of the cameras, but that’s part of being a professional sportsperson. If you get caught up thinking about how you look on TV, then you’re probably not in a position to perform well. As athletes, you have to learn to work hard to block out distracting factors and focus on the important stuff – sporting goals.’’