David Slack
I just might have found my island
Some of us have only been back from holiday for five minutes and are already we’re sick to death of this modern world and everybody in it.
Thank God, then, for exciting news washing in from Tahiti; there may soon be a seasteading community being built in the beautiful blue water of a Tahitian lagoon. What better place in all the world could there be to do it?
A seastead is an idea; a floating community at sea. It is a homestead, just like in the John Wayne movies, but on the water, not the prairie; outside the reach of any government.
Imaginative people will come together in these seasteads to create a better, kinder, sustainable way of life for us all to follow. They will find new and better ways to feed the hungry, to cure the sick, to clean the atmosphere, to enrich the poor; and perhaps to pay no tax and live the libertarian wet dream.
This might be thrilling news for the future of humanity and it might just be a dead end. Peter Thiel was into it before he discovered New Zealand was a soft touch and chose us instead.
I don’t mean to mock, not all that much. I love the idea of new, sustainable technology. I love the idea of leaving behind a world that reads the TV news to you like you’re five years old.
The question you may be asking yourself is: ‘‘Am I the kind of person they’d want?’’
I could very much see myself as a seasteader. My people came halfway around the world and drove a bullock cart up the beach highway to Bulls to go farming, so don’t tell me it’s not in my genes.
But would seeing yourself as a seasteader be enough to qualify you? Perhaps your seastead is what you make it.
You’d be welcome to join mine just so long as you’re inventive, like to use a sledgehammer and a sabre saw, and get excited by precision German technology. Except for precision German technology made by VW. I watched Netflix the other night and I saw what you did to hide your deadly emissions, VW. Shame on you. I wouldn’t want your sort on my seastead.
What it would require more than anything, I’d imagine, would be forward thinking.
So, are you a forward thinker? Are you open to adventure? Are you that dog with his head out the car window facing the breeze? How do you know for sure?
Life tests us every day, in fact. Just this week it has challenged us many times to consider where we stand. Consider the big issues of the week and your response to the questions they raised, and you should have your answer.
1. Bill English said this week the Government’s policy agenda is driven by ‘‘a nostalgic belief in trees, trains and trade unions.’’
This tells us:
A: The hits of the 50s 60s and 70s are not just a tired radio format.
B: Cars are the past, the present and the future, this is as good as it gets.
2. Chloe Swarbrick’s member’s bill permitting the terminally ill to legally grow cannabis, if prescribed by their doctor, was defeated 47 votes to 73, with every National and NZ First MP voting against it.
This shows that:
A: 73 of the most cautious people in the country are members of parliament.
B: When you’re considering the pain and agony of terminal illness, you should think like a clown fish.
3. The defeat of Chloe Swarbrick’s bill demonstrated a wide range of positions held by the members of this Government.
This suggests:
A: Working together is challenging but they’re holding it together even though the differences are not small. They could teach those seasteaders a thing or two.
B: It’s only a matter of time before these people come to blows.
4. Last week, Auckland Transport published the draft of its new 10-year plan, which appeared to ignore the expectations of their mayor and the new Government. Nearly half the funding for commuter rail was gone and the cycling and walking budget was slashed by 90 per cent.
This means:
A. Cars are the past, the present and the future, this is as good as it gets.
B. If AT was in charge of a seastead it would sink.
A seastead is an idea; a floating community at sea. It is a homestead, just like in the John Wayne movies, but on the water.