Revenge porn ‘my biggest mistake’
Josh Ashby was jailed for posting naked images of his partner online. They got back together, and now have a daughter, writes Bevan Hurley.
The first New Zealander convicted of posting revenge porn online says it was the ‘‘worst decision of his whole life’’.
As a major new study looks at the impact of revenge porn on victims, Josh Ashby is speaking out to warn others about its effects.
In 2010, Ashby was sentenced to four months’ prison for uploading a naked photo of his ex-partner to her Facebook page.
After he was released from prison he and his former partner patched things up. They have been together for seven years and have a 5-year-old daughter.
He still has regrets about his actions. ‘‘I did what I did under the influence of alcohol and have regretted it ever since,’’ Ashby said.
‘‘I had no idea of the extent of the damage that I had done.’’
Ashby posted the photo in an ‘‘irresponsible drunken jealous rage’’ after the breakup of their five-month relationship.
He changed the password so she couldn’t access the account, and sent her threatening text messages after he found out she’d been seeing an ex-partner.
The story quickly went around the world, and Ashby’s case made legal history as the first case in New Zealand of a person being convicted for spreading harmful images on the internet.
‘‘It was horrible,’’ he said intense publicity.
‘‘It put me in a pretty dark place. It went way out of proportion. It went crazy. I think having family support me was the thing that saved me.’’ of the
Prison was a major wake-up call, Ashby said.
‘‘I just put my head down and did my time. I got through it, but the offending still plays a part in my life now. I get anxiety about people finding out.’’
The path to reconciliation with his partner began while he was still in prison.
‘‘She felt I had been punished way too hard, and got in contact with my mum. We got counselling and slowly got back together. I wasn’t actually allowed to see her because of a court order, but we still managed to communicate.’’
He said it was especially hard meeting her parents to apologise. They’ve since become very close, and see each other every week.