NADINE HIGGINS & RICO, HER FOUR-LEGGED FRIEND

Adog walks into a crowded bar at 2am. No, it’s not the beginning of a bad joke, it was actually the middle of a fantastic night in Berlin, made infinitely better by a cuddle with a canine.

The dog’s owner was perplexed as to why I was so excited to see a pooch in a pub when no-one else batted an eyelid.

Here, meanwhile, the very idea of allowing pets on Wellington’s public transport ignited fears of gnashing teeth and smelly deposits, even though the policy requires all four-legged passengers to be imprisoned in cages.

Bundling animals into cages is not only impractical for anyone whose dog is bigger than a handbag (so size-ist!), it’s also representative of the way we co-exist with our furfriends in general. That is, we segregate dogs and humans wherever possible.

You can’t take your dog to most beaches during the day, near a playground, a school, on a sports field, a bus, a train, into a bar, a shopping mall and in most rental properties.

On a recent walk through Blenheim, I was surprised to find signs that seemed to ban dogs almost entirely from the CBD. It’s no wonder many dogs sit at home, bored and lonely, so much of the time. Man’s best friend hardly needs enemies with mates like us.

Despite this, the statistics for dog bites in New Zealand is incredibly high. That would suggest this policy isn’t working.

A Wellington vet who submitted on the Wellington public transport proposal suggested, ‘‘it would help the awareness and familiarity with dogs as part of general, everyday life’’.

I couldn’t agree more. How do we teach kids how to behave around dogs and dogs how to behave around children if they seldom interact with each other? Dogs who were poorly socialised are more fearful, more defensive and don’t cope well with surprise kid-cuddles.

Pet First Aid and Training says educating children is paramount in reducing bite numbers and having gently scolded many a child for taunting my dog while their parents did nothing – I’d back that, too.

So, stuff the cages, let the dogs on the bus. If you can take dogs on the tube in London, where the main restriction seems to be carrying them up the escalator to save their paws, I think we can manage it.

Besides, my pup has better manners than many a bus passenger – he knows the command ‘‘nicely’’. Ask the driver how many commuters are good at that. Let him induce a bit of oxytocin into the drudgery of the daily commute. While we’re at it, let’s open up the pubs to the pooches. I’ll take a furry friend over a drunken one, any day.

Mr President always wants to hear my ideas. ‘‘Dave’’, he’ll say, ‘‘you’re crazy, man, but like a fox. What you got this time’’?

How do we teach kids how to behave around dogs and dogs how to behave around children if they seldom interact with each other?