‘There is a lot of pressure on us’
All Blacks stars take on mental illness stigma. By Audrey Malone.
All Nehe Milner-Skudder wanted to be when he grew up was Christian Cullen.
As a young child he wrote his idol’s name on a Hurricanes teddy bear and slept with it every night.
‘‘I wasn’t allowed to take him to school, but I tried,’’ MilnerSkudder says with a chuckle.
Now the 27-year-old is a Hurricanes player and an All Black, just like Cullen.
Which is why it hits him hard when he gets injured and his dream hangs in the balance.
Milner-Skudder is one of the ambassadors for the NZ Rugby programme Headfirst. As part of it, the New Zealand Super Rugby franchises have adopted a Bubble Round theme – a week when there is a focus on mental fitness and mental health.
The aim is to promote bursting the bubbles of stigma surrounding mental health.
Various players will appear on video talking about the issues, and what they do when they are on struggle street.
‘‘There are a lot of ups and downs in rugby,’’ Milner-Skudder said.
‘‘There is a lot of pressure on us to perform at a high level, and when you get injured it can tough.’’
He wants to raise awareness that although the ebbs and flows are part of the job, it is important to talk about it.
‘‘We have this alpha-male macho persona which we put up in rugby. It can end up being a bit of a hindrance when you can’t deal with how you are feeling.
‘‘We are taught to push through little niggles, but when it comes to your feelings, if you don’t develop a sense of vulnerability and being aware of your feelings it can hurt you.’’
If Milner-Skudder is having a bad day, he surrounds himself with supportive people, including his partner – who makes him talk about his feelings.
be ‘‘She has definitely been backbone in this.’’
He also takes his dogs down to the beach, to let off a bit of steam.
‘‘We needed someone authentic, Nehe is that,’’ said NZ Rugby education and well-being manager Nathan Price, explaining why Milner-Skudder was chosen.
It had to be someone who lived the values and would resonate with youth. It’s an added bonus that he might have cut-through with Maori and Pacific Islanders too.
Price is one of the main people involved in getting this programme over the line.
‘‘Like it or not, rugby players are role models. I think we have a responsibility to do social good. We have a lot of influence, and to be the able to contribute to this conversation is something I am really proud of.
‘‘Hopefully, we can get this conversation humming.’’
Price’s goal is to develop a strong mental health culture at NZ Rugby, and have all of the rugby family practising mental fitness.
‘‘That’s not just for the 800 players we have on contract, that’s the 100,000 plus people that play rugby throughout New Zealand. And then hopefully it has a trickledown effect into their families and their communities.
‘‘We have an opportunity to do something good.’’
Being educated about mental health and fitness was one of the most important things you can do to get through it.
Rugby players have three triggers which can challenge their mental health: injury, retirement, and when they aren’t meeting their own, or others’, performance objectives.
Knowing what is going on is why rugby has brought mental health into its grassroots training programmes, Price explained.
And also why it is starting to involve partners and families – to provide a better understanding of the environment.
‘‘We are never going to be perfect, but we have to do something.
‘‘At one point there will be a high-profile person in this sphere that commits suicide, I don’t want to sit back and have done nothing. I want us to have made the world better.’’