Jordan Watson

‘‘Babe, I’m going to buy a boat this summer to take the kids out fishing.’’ ‘‘Ok, make sure it’s a good one, maybe spend a little bit more,’’ she replies.

Sometimes I think my wife has no idea who I am.

Like his father before him, my father is a fisherman.

His eldest son is a fisherman.

His second-eldest son – makes internet videos.

I needed a boat to carry on the Watson tradition. Fishing is what we know – or what I need to learn to know more of . . .

Just like the Watson tradition – I was going to try to find the best bargain possible. Bargains are also what we Watsons know well.

My old man spends more time on Trade Me than watching TV.

He has one of those foldout ‘‘eat your dinner at the couch’’ tables – but it’s for his computer.

If he knew how to operate those fancy Google Glasses he would have a constant stream of ‘‘closing soon’’ auctions being projected onto his eyeballs. His yard is full of boating ‘‘bargains’’. When you see his bargains, you quickly realise beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

Dad says, ‘‘Closing soon is where you find the bargains’’.

But I wanted to go cheaper. I wanted to find the best Watson bargain to date. I skipped Trade Me and went straight to what many consider to be the dark web. Facebook Marketplace. No security, no ‘‘rankings’’. The Wild West of online shopping. Dun dun duuuuunnnnn!

Anything goes, unless of course, it’s the boat I end up buying.

Dad and my brother, who both have masters degrees in Trade Me, said I

Trip one, I discovered some old drill holes in the hull and we kind of almost certainly started sinking.