I’m not OK, to be perfectly honest

they are living with and where listeners are truly hearing. The stigma is palpable.

Members of my wha¯ nau and my patients have said to me over the years, ‘‘I don’t want to talk to my friends about this’’, ‘‘people will think I’m crazy’’, ‘‘if people think you’re crazy you may as well be dead’’, ‘‘people will think I’m weak’’, ‘‘they won’t want to hang out with me anymore’’, ‘‘ I can’t face the rejection’’, ‘‘I need to just buck up, I have to keep this a secret’’.

The evidence is overwhelming, our society is excellent at teaching citizens to feel shame around any suggestion of mental health illness or addiction. Let’s be clear – shame is a feeling of humiliation of the self. It is the ‘‘I am bad’’, as opposed to guilt, where the focus is on doing something bad. Shame is about your internal core of being, your identity being bad. Shame is toxic as hell.

What can we do to unlearn our ability to shame ourselves and each other? How can we simply behave differently with each other? $64 million-dollar question, right?

One small local attempt is coming up on January 20. Along with some friends we have organised a ‘‘Kia ora, e pe¯ hea ana koe? Hi, how are you?’’ day, a concert on Waiheke Island at The Artworks community theatre, kicking off at 5pm.

The idea was started last year in Austin, Texas, by musicians who were inspired by Daniel Johnston – a songwriter, musician and visual artist who had his own mental health challenges. The ambition is global – a global community mission to have human-to-human communication about how we are. The power of music and creativity helps so much to soothe, to calm, to remind, to connect.

So that’s our go at a contribution to bring our little community together for this kaupapa. Beginning with blessings from our Nga¯ ti Paoa Kaumatua followed by Sam Scott from Phoenix Foundation, Stephanie Brown (aka Lips), and Chantal Claret from Morningwood, as well as some talented young Waiheke Island musos.

Our show will be part of a live online cast too, bringing our unique way of showing we care to the global stage. Drop by Artworks if you are around. We’ll be there, ready to ask, and to listen.