Uncle Dave’s guide to

In the afternoons you step outside barefooted, take just two steps on the hot bricks and retreat for your jandals. In the evenings you wallow in water as warm as a bath, made golden by the setting sun. It’s the very best time of the year.

Naturally, you’ll feel the urge to fire up the barbecue and invite people around, but safety first! Accidents can happen. Before you know it, you can be holding a Heineken and talking politics.

Here’s Uncle Dave’s guide to making sure everyone goes home happy, and no-one gets so consumed with quiet rage the vein on their forehead starts throbbing.

If someone says: ‘‘Tell you what, old Doully wasn’t wrong what he said the other day about climate change’’ the first thing to remember is: deflection is your friend. Try changing the subject to: ‘‘How do you like this barbecue? It’s a Weber Family Q, man they’re good. We cook just about all our meat on this; you should see how it does roast pork. How’s your beer, mate, ready for another one?’’

That should do the trick. People love to talk about barbecues, and the Weber Family Q, well, swear to god it’s the first one I’ve ever had that I