Jordan Watson

Iwas dripping with sweat – and it was no surprise. I’ve never been chased around for this long all the while laughing this hard, chased while wearing a fleece bush shirt on a muggy 24-degree Auckland day. Mind you, I’ve never been chased by 30 overly energetic under-fives.

They’re faster than you think. Also, I’m just as slow as you’d think.

I was a big kid – I was in my element. Struggling for air, but in my element.

I had been invited along to Rosebank Early Childhood Centre as part of KidsCan’s new campaign to extend their legendary programme to provide for under-fives.

I was there to cook and hang out. And I was super excited about the ‘‘hang out’’ bit of the equation.

‘‘Get him, he’s got funny hair!’’

I do have funny hair, but after 30 minutes of running, this was a good enough reason for me to take a breather and head inside.

‘‘Oh no, I’ve got to go fix my funny hair,’’ I mumbled as I tried to catch my breath.

It was time to roll up my imaginary sleeves and try not to burn lunch. I had to cook for 30 kids. And not just cook, but also to keep it healthy and not stuff it up.

But 12 seconds in and I’m straightaway pulled up for not putting my gloves on, and it’s made totally clear that I’m the apprentice and the elderly Pacific woman – who I’ve been told to refer to only as ‘‘Mama’’ – is the boss. This is her kitchen and I should be counting my lucky stars that I’ve been allowed in.

‘‘Yes Mama.’’ ‘‘Of course Mama.’’ Today’s dish is mac ‘n’ cheese with veges, which means we cleverly hide the veges in the main dish as part of a wellworn best parenting hack.

I’m the apprentice and the elderly Pacific woman – who I’ve been told to refer to only as ‘‘Mama’’ – is the boss.