Singapore life is easier sans kids
Lorna Thornber
Simon Dando and his wife Andrea settled in Singapore so well the first time around, they weren’t prepared for the ‘‘horror story’’ that unfolded when they returned.
Andrea was eight months’ pregnant with their second child and, unsure whether she would be allowed to enter the Southeast Asian city-state so close to her due date, did her best to hide her stomach from airport staff.
The couple were moving for Simon’s work in the electronic trading team at Merrill Lynch which, Simon says, had been ‘‘really slow in organising their part of the move’’, including establishing whether Andrea would be allowed to move so late in her pregnancy.
‘‘Generally due to a lack of sleep, the first year was really tough,’’ he says. ‘‘The only friends we knew with kids were going through a break-up . . . And it seemed that [eldest son] Levi’s best friend at two-anda-half was the Ginger the cat app. Very sad, but it soon got a lot better.’’
Discovering their live-in helper was also a prostitute was a bit of a shock too, but more on that later.
The couple first moved to Singapore in 2006, largely because their feet had begun to itch. Simon is originally from the Blue Mountains west of Sydney and Andrea is from Auckland.
‘‘We had never been to Asia before. Walking out of the airport was like walking into a furnace.
‘‘Work put us up in the middle of nowhere and we had to catch taxis to get anywhere. My wife in particular struggled that first week and we had quite a few fights.’’
Once they had settled into their resort-like condominium though, they began to feel like they were on an extended working holiday.
Simon found writing software for Merrill Lynch’s algorithmic trading and routing applications stressful, knowing they would be used to trade about US$10 billion (NZ$14.6b) a day, but he and Andrea had a lot of fun outside work.
Simon started a touch rugby team within a month of their arrival, which he says was a great way to meet locals and other expats. The team would bond over Indian food and Tiger beer after weekend matches and have ‘‘big’’ Friday nights at Clarke Quay.
‘‘Some were notorious for not making the football game the next afternoon. Life was generally great and the world was our oyster.’’
Simon also joined a running club and got into marathons and triathlons and the couple frequently travelled to other parts of Asia and beyond.
‘‘One of our favourite trips was to Russia with friends. We did work long hours, but we unwound on Friday nights and would explore as much of Singapore as we could. Sundays were often recovery days.’’
After four years in Singapore, the couple moved to London for another work opportunity but they had such fond memories that when Simon was asked to transfer to an office in Asia in 2013, they decided to return.
They found it harder to make friends the second time, as most of their mates from the first stint had moved on and their neighbours were mostly executives without children.
But they eventually became close to four other expat families, and met locals through their sons’ kindergarten.
Simon describes Singapore as one of the most cosmopolitan and tolerant cities he has been to, and the safest place the family has lived. ‘‘My wife was happy to walk outside by herself at 2am and you always see people leaving their valuables out in plain view, assuming they will not be touched.’’
Other benefits of living there, he says, include the travel opportunities, ‘‘four seasons of summer’’, cheap and good food and beer at the hawker centres and food halls, the diverse nightlife in Little India, Chinatown and the Arab Quarter, and being able to immerse yourself in multiple cultures.
The downsides include the ‘‘crazily expensive’’ rent, and unregulated real estate agents, whom Simon describes as ‘‘the biggest shysters I had ever come across.
‘‘There is a court to handle matters but it is very busy and expats have a poor track record there. One woman told me she didn’t get her bond or keys back because the owner said the place was haunted. Stories like this are rife. ’’
It is fairly common for expats to have live-in helpers, Simon says, and he and Andrea were initially grateful to have extra help with the kids.
‘‘Unfortunately ours turned out to be a prostitute so I had to take her to the airport to deport her after about a year.’’
Even before this, however, they were concerned that expat kids sometimes became closer to the helpers than their parents.
‘‘Given that most expats need helpers, parents often take full advantage of that and it was a common story to hear they only spend time with their kids when they are hung over on a Sunday.’’
The couple were also unhappy with the schooling options for expat kids, prompting their eventual move to Auckland.
In Singapore, Simon says, they would have had to pay about NZ$30,000 a year for each child to attend an international school, or send them to a local school where they would be swamped with homework and unable to play outside much because of the heat.
Still, they had mixed feelings about leaving, having been ‘‘really, really happy’’ there once they’d settled.
‘‘It was a twice-in-a lifetime opportunity that helped me grow personally and professionally. I arrived being fairly quiet and left a lot more extroverted. The boys still talk very fondly of Singapore.’’
If you know an expat who wants to share their inside knowledge of their home away from home, or have a travel question, email travel@stuff.co.nz with Expat or Expert in the subject line.