A surfeit of heirs

could ascend to the throne.

Claudius obtained revenge in Shakespeare’s Hamlet when his namesake poisoned his brother to assume, briefly, the throne of Denmark.

England’s problems with surplus royal heirs roared into high gear with Henry II and his brood of unruly offspring.

His preferred replacement pre-deceased him and led to protracted wars between his sons, Richard the Lionheart and the pernicious King John who cemented his claim on the throne by strangling his nephew, Arthur.

Real disaster did not befall the kingdom until the fecund Edward III, whose descendants tore the country apart in an orgy of bloodshed that cumulated in the ascendancy of the Tudors at the battle of Bosworth Field in 1485.

The Tudors faced a different problem with Henry VIII famously struggling to produce a suitable male lineage, which saw his kingdom fall into the hands of not one, but two (and arguably three) queens.

Much hilarity followed, with subsequent monarchs failing to produce suitable male Protestant princes before parliament was forced to dig up an obscure German named Georg Ludwig in 1714 to assume the now ceremonial position of monarch.

In the modern era, the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha have dealt with excess heirs by either marrying them off, as Victoria most successfully did, or sending them off to remote colonial posts as governors-general or minor military posts.

The current crop of redundant royals have been denied such opportunities, and got up to much shenanigans as a consequence.

Princess Margaret gloriously embraced men and tobacco and the current cohort of Royal Highnesses have not behaved much better.

The debacle of Princes Andrew and Harry are equally splendid and are perfectly in line with their magnificent lineage.

Sadly, the practice of dealing with errant family members by the expedient measures employed by the Ottomans is denied Her Majesty, although she must at times be tempted to mutter; will no-one rid me of these turbulent princes?

Princess Margaret, left, gloriously embraced men and tobacco and the current cohort of Royal Highnesses have not behaved much better.