There are so many good coaches in this country who we should celebrate, but there are also far too many who intimidate and hector.
Grant Robertson, the Minister of Sport, gave us the usual honeyed oratory in response to allegations of appalling bullying and abuse that has been going on in gymnastics, as revealed by the Sunday StarTimes.
But Robertson needs to take the blinkers off the front of those glasses and look around him. It’s not just about gymnastics. New Zealand sport is infested with bullying coaches.
Robertson said: ‘‘I would like to acknowledge the courage of those who have stepped forward. It is imperative that sport is safe for athletes and that their wellbeing is paramount at all times. Sport NZ is working with Gymnastics NZ on the next steps that should be taken. I would encourage people to come forward if they have allegations to raise.
‘‘Everyone involved in sport and active recreation at any level should feel confident the activities in which they participate in are safe, free from harassment, discrimination, abuse and other harmful behaviours. This is particularly important for young people.’’
Dream on, Grant. The system makes it so hard for these people to come forward. They start off by going through the ‘‘proper’’ channels and find that those channels are blocked with toxic algae. Noone wants to hear their complaint. They are shifted sideways. They are fobbed off. They become isolated.
Time and time again their story is only finally heard because some courageous journalist, like the Star-Times’ Zoe George, who uncovered the gymnastics scandal on a national scale, is prepared to go through the ‘‘harrowing and horrifying’’ experience of helping these people with their lives and getting their story heard. And every time a journalist writes a story like this, it takes another piece out of them.
Don’t think it is easy to get these stories heard, Mr Robertson, because men in power down the years have given New Zealand an appallingly restrictive set of libel laws. The rich and the powerful have made sure their own backs are covered, rather than give the vulnerable the voice that they are entitled to.
But sooner or later a Zoe George plunges out of the scum-filled pond wielding some sort of modern Excalibur. She finds a way to get the story told. She breaks past all the people trying to gag her. And she gives a gymnast like Olivia Jobsis a voice.
Jobsis said: ‘‘You’re indoctrinated. You don’t get picked for teams. You get ridiculed in line-up every day. [The coach] was bullying me at the time.’’ Jobsis was pushed to let it go. A parent tried to lodge a complaint, ‘‘but nobody listens’’.
It is so wearyingly familiar, Mr Robertson. Let me tell you about a conversation I have been having with a mum. She got in touch a few weeks ago and wrote: ‘‘I just wanted to say that I really appreciated your article on football. I am a mum of a boy who played football and the culture and bullying was shocking. What was worse was our treatment from the club and the federation when we asked them for help.’’
I won’t go into all the ways that her son was bullied, because some of them would reveal his identity, and some of them are too unspeakably vile. The worst stuff came from other boys, but the coach of the team, whose virtual first words were ‘‘I’m not the best liked person in town and I don’t have a problem with that’’, shouted frequently at the boys. Some became afraid of him. They were not yet teenagers.
The boy’s mum, let’s call her Verity, lodged a complaint. Apart from the bullying, her son had suffered an injury and been left to virtually crawl home. He ended up with his foot in a cast but the coach didn’t want to know – thought the boy was soft.
Verity texted the coach twice, but he did not ring her back. She spoke to the president of the club, who advised her to make a statement to the board. The board neglected to give Verity a formal reply and suggested she remove her son from the talent centre, saying the coach was not good with people.
Verity asked to meet with the board. They didn’t want to know. The coach wrote to the board to say that he was ‘‘absolutely livid’’ and ‘‘the women [sic] is a dick. Simple’’. He then said either the kid went or he went.
Do you think the coach went? Of course, he didn’t. The results were too good, you see. The board thought they were lucky to have a coach of his ability. The kid meanwhile has just about given up the game he loved. The coach has since been twice promoted and holds a senior coaching role in the region. He probably meant well, but was young and did not have the skills to be in charge of kids.
Verity went to the federation who said they would get involved and would get back in touch. They never did. She then contacted Sport New Zealand (SNZ). The organisation did get back to her. SNZ told Verity that it had been in touch with the football authorities, and advised her to let it go.
Peter Miskimmin, the outgoing CEO of SNZ, might want to take note of this grindingly familiar ending. Miskimmin is one of a handful of people in this country who thinks that their complaints procedure is any good. He speaks of ‘‘triaging’’ but the reality is that most people never get out of the emergency waiting room.
They are fobbed off. ‘‘Sorry, but the doctor is too busy to see you.’’
There are so many good coaches in this country who we should celebrate, but there are also far too many who intimidate and hector.
Even rugby is not immune. Former New Zealand Rugby general manager Neil Sorensen called the environment he worked in ‘‘a tough, uncompromising and at times bullying culture’’.
I know that Sorensen is right when he says that bullying is rampant in New Zealand society. Even at my own Wairarapa football club the head coach recently publicly bawled out a player, who was only trying to make a helpful suggestion, in vile and humiliating language. A complaint was lodged.
I wanted to talk about bullying because I am still daft enough to think we can change the culture. And I urge David Howman, who is leading the independent investigation into Kiwi gymnastics, to widen his brief. Howman is one of the good guys and it would be great if he could take a look at the cancer of bullying that goes throughout the whole body of New Zealand sport.
I leave the penultimate word with Verity, one of the many victims. The bullied suffer desperate torments, but we should not forget that the parents of bullied children become victims too.
She writes: ‘‘If you talk to Zoe again, tell her that her story into NZ gymnastics impacted us loads. By you guys covering these issues, you inspire us, validate our experience, and give us the confidence for us to right some wrongs too. For every person who actually tells you that your pieces have helped them, there will be dozens who have been helped that you simply don’t know about.’’
So keep going, Zoe, you are an inspiration to us all.
There are so many good coaches in this country who we should celebrate, but there are also far too many who intimidate and hector.