Alleged abuse in NZ gymnastics
Your courage could be the courage someone else needs to speak up
US ‘Athlete A’ victim urges Kiwi gymnasts to come forward
What happened to Jacey Humpherys doesn’t define her, but her voice and the voices of others helped spark a movement. Following the Stuff investigation into alleged abuse in gymnastics in New Zealand, she’s now asking others to be brave and speak up, too. Zoe George reports.
Jacey Humpherys was seven when she first started in gymnastics. She became an elite athlete at 14 and moved into coaching at 24. She spent several years at one of Auckland’s largest gymnastics clubs. She took New Zealand teams to international competitions.
She is proud of who she is today because of what she learnt, and continues to learn, through gymnastics.
She loves the sport, there’s no denying it. You can hear it in her voice when she speaks. The enthusiasm, the joy, the will to make a difference.
But there is also a dark story behind the brave voice.
‘‘It’s scary speaking up and it’s really hard, but I found the more I talk about it the better I feel.’’
Humpherys, like many elite gymnasts in the United States, attended the Karolyi Ranch – a training facility in Texas, far from civilisation and cell phone reception, where all the elite athletes attended camps. They were away from their parents and put through intense training regimes. They were watched the whole time.
She was also told that if she lost ‘‘five to seven more pounds’’ she’d be ‘‘perfect’’.
The ranch, which has since been shut down, was run by Bela and Martha Karolyi, the former coach of Romanian Olympic gold medallist Nadia Comenci.
Former USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar was at the ranch, too.
That is where Humpherys, like many others, says she was abused.
She had met Nassar a few times, without incident, before attending the ranch. During a three-week stay at the ranch, though, she was abused.
In the first week she was treated by him. Her coach was always present and everything was fine.
‘‘He was a really friendly guy. He made you feel safe and he was on your side.’’
The abuse started in the second week when her coach had gone home and she was ‘‘left on my own’’.
‘‘That’s when everything happened with me. I was literally alone. I’d just turned 16.’’
He abused her multiple times during the subsequent two weeks. Sometimes the abuse happened more than once a day, she said.
‘‘You’re told he’s the best and he used all the language that you didn’t understand, but it sounded legit.
‘‘So even though deep down you felt it was wrong and uncomfortable, you trust, because that’s what you do. You don’t ask questions because you’re taught not to.’’
After the camp was over, the abuse stopped, but he had stolen a part of her.
‘‘Subconscious or not, I lost part of my love for gym and that was my last stint as an elite [athlete].’’
She also stayed quiet about what had happened to her. She pushed her experiences aside. She was ashamed of what had happened.
It wasn’t until 2017, when the first reports of Nassar’s abuse started to emerge that she realised she wasn’t alone and it was OK for her to admit what had happened was wrong.
‘‘I got sick as soon as I saw his name,’’ she said.
‘‘My first thought . . . was ‘damn I was right’.
‘‘You’ve got instincts. But you were also built to trust.’’
It was shortly after the first reports on Nassar that she decided to speak up, first anonymously, then 18 months later she took the brave step to be named.
She’s been working with lawyers and investigators ever since and she had a statement read out at Nassar’s sentencing.
‘‘It’s been an intense and emotional couple of years. It was a relief [to speak up].’’
In 2018, she and a group of survivors went to Washington DC for a senate hearing into Nassar’s abuse. It was empowering and powerful, she said.
She’s glad others have spoken up, too. There is strength in numbers. Big names including Simone Biles and Maggie Nichols – the original Athlete A – added weight to the claims of abuse by Nassar.
‘‘I am eternally grateful for the ones who have come forward who ‘made it’ in the sport and were able to be loud enough to get the attention because after that camp [where the abuse happened], I became a nobody,’’ she said.
‘‘I don’t think if I had ever even tried [to speak up], anybody would have listened.’’
Speaking up was difficult, but she’s glad she did. Some days are harder than others, she is after all human. And there are plenty of reminders of what she went through. She has an incredible support base to help her get through.
‘‘You get an update from your lawyer, or you see a news article and it kind of hits you like a ton of bricks again,’’ she said.
‘‘But I have so much more support than if I didn’t say anything and if I had kept quiet.
‘‘It’s terrifying putting it out there to family, to friends, to social media, but the support from everyone — it helps so much.’’
She followed in the footsteps of others, and she said those experiencing abuse in New Zealand should speak up, too.
‘‘Be brave. If [the athletes] are afraid to come forward, that just shows that [the abuse] is wrong. You should never be afraid to speak up about what happened to you or what’s happening to you.’’
There have been instances of victim-blaming and that may stop others from speaking up, she said.
Olympic gold medallist Russian Sveltana Khorkina recently said survivors who spoke up were only looking for fame and money.
Some in the New Zealand gymnastics community have also commented negatively on social media regarding the athletes who have spoken to Stuff about the alleged abuse.
Humpherys said: ‘‘I’ve heard a lot of people say [survivors who speak up] just want the attention — and that’s completely bullcrap.
‘‘Why are we trying to keep people quiet? This stuff is not easy to hear. It’s actually really uncomfortable.
‘‘But by saying that those coming forward are clouding the beauty of our sport is wrong. The beauty will speak for itself louder than ever when we don’t have athletes beaten down like this anymore.’’
Silence is part of the sport, she said.
‘‘You’re beaten down and you’re taught not to trust yourself.
‘‘[As a gymnast] you’re taught not to ask questions, you’re taught to compete through pain, you’re told ‘you’re not in that much pain’ and you can deal with it. I know some people will say, ‘Well, to make it as an elite in any sport is hard and there will be pain’, but there’s the type of pain that you can push through that makes you stronger and then there’s the pain that breaks you. As coaches we need to be better at acknowledging which is which.’’
She said those who want to speak up about their experience should use their ‘‘instincts’’ and ‘‘trust your gut’’. Their voices are powerful.
She suggests survivors talk to someone they trust – that could be the governing body, a parent, a coach, a friend, Sport NZ or ‘‘even to a trusted journalist’’.
‘‘The [athletes] have more support than they know and there’s people there for them. They deserve to be heard.’’
Her hope is that many in New Zealand do come forward so the sport can be changed for the better. ‘‘I want the sport to be what it can be. It’s such a beautiful, empowering, amazing sport — I want it to get back to that.
‘‘I want people to believe you can have high performance athletes without all the abuse – the physical, the emotional – you don’t need it.’’
Among the bad, is also the good, and while the reports of verbal and physical abuse in New Zealand are distressing, she said hopefully ‘‘the goodness’’ of the sport can shine through.
‘‘Everything that is happening right now is so needed and has been needed for a long time.
‘‘I have hoped things can change. There’s so many good coaches in New Zealand that deserve to be around — to coach. They are so passionate and coach the right way and treat the kids the right way.’’
For those considering speaking up: ‘‘Your courage could be the courage that someone else needs to speak up.’’
‘‘The [athletes] have more support than they know and there’s people there for them. They deserve to be heard.’’ Jacey Humpherys