An age-old question of defining codgers
On my holidays, I did my country proud, inspiring the youth of Godzone, even if my own selfimage evaporated like summer sweat as a consequence.
My philanthropy unfolded on New Year’s Day, just after all the honours were dished out with no sign of Norquay in the Ns, or misplaced under any other letter (I checked). Never mind, next year I am a sitter.
Determined to open 2022 on a high point, we were attacking the slopes of Mauao as the temperature rose faster than us, to more than 30 degrees C.
As the steep slopes of what was once called Mount Maunganui fell beneath our powerful strides, the heart monitor raced to 138 beats per minute from its usual 60.
We reached the South Col of the 232m cone, catching up to a family in meltdown. An attached small boy had stopped dead, to embark on a tired and grumpy hissy fit.
And then, my inspirational halo enveloped him. ‘‘Come on,’’ you can do it, his father said adding, as I swept by: ‘‘Look at that Old Codger.’’
My self-identity as youngish, robust(ish) and energetic(ish) dissipated, replaced by the onslaught of a late-middle life pandemic.
WTF? ‘‘Old Codger’’ growled inside me like an angry stomach, as I adjusted my sun-repelling bucket hat and fashionable walk shorts.
Minutes later, the views at the summit proved spectacular, from Coromandel to White Island, then across a sparkling blue harbour to Matakana Island and its white sands.
We sat in silence.
‘‘Old Codger,’’ I thought. ‘‘Really?’’ ‘‘WTF? I’m married to an Old Codger?’’ pondered my (younger) wife, from behind her trendy sunglasses and action gear.
‘‘Old’’ by itself was shock enough. It halted my living in denial, refusing to be part of the grey gang even as friends retire, have hip operations, or put out their backs lacing up shoes.
I’d even ignored the internet as it parachuted in age-related advice, belting targeted ads my way for retirement homes, hearing aids, crematoriums and – my favourites – ‘‘do you smell like urine?’’ and ‘‘Kevin, have you considered getting funeral insurance?’’
But Codger? What does a Codger even look like?
At this point, you’re shouting ‘‘look in the mirror, you fool’’. But as an investigator, I resorted to dictionaries and something called Google.
Definition: Old Codger is a disrespectful way of referring to an old man.
Alternative definition: an eccentric, but amusing old man.
Thesaurus options: curmudgeon, dolt, pedant, grump, crotchety.
Old, eccentric, amusing dolt? My WTF count was rising rapidly, though friends reading this may be nodding in agreement.
Joseph Wright’s English Dialect Dictionary has codge ‘‘to botch, mend clumsily, bungle, patch’’ and codger as ‘‘a slovenly worker’’. Now my boss has joined the nodding.
Codgers can be cool. Albus Dumbledore, the English half-blood wizard from Harry Potter, was apparently a ‘‘barmy Old Codger’’, by his own definition.
‘‘He had a keen mind and was a legendary figure,’’ his Harry Potter fan bio says. Great, yes please. Mind you, he is dead, so not entirely great.
His obituary ran thus: ‘‘He died as he lived: working always for the greater good and, to his last hour, as willing to stretch out a hand to a small boy with dragon pox as he was on the day that I met him.’’ Just like me on Mauao, then.
Or not so cool, an Old Codger can be like
Statler and Waldorf, the cantankerous Muppets who heckle from the balcony, jeering the cast and their performances.
Clint Eastwood had a ‘‘don’t mess with me’’ vibe in Gran Torino, heading deep into crotchety country.
When British TV personality Melvyn Bragg researched the word ‘‘codger’’ for his TV series on the English language, he found it may have come from the often elderly man who assisted the falconer by carrying the hawks on a ‘‘cadge’’ or cage.
Budgie owners might have some empathy for that. Less appealing is the suggestion the word was derived from coffin-dodger.
There is a generational perception issue to be overcome – old codgers don’t think they are old. A survey in the US found 60 per cent of under-20s felt 60 was ‘‘old’’, whereas only 16 per cent of those over 60 considered they were.
The number of older New Zealanders is rapidly increasing. In 2015, 15 per cent of the population was over 65, but by 2038, about 25 per cent will be over 65.
Words such as senior, elderly, geriatric, retiree, and even elder carry labelling issues, which some could find demeaning, in an Old and in the Way sense.
Be careful how you use them, some terms may cause offence. Old Codger, for example, he wrote angrily.
Maybe the answer is in Te Ara Encyclopaedia of New Zealand, which says those between 65 and 80 are sometimes called ‘‘young-old’’, and people over 80 are called ‘‘old-old’’.
Must go, I need to sit in my chair with a cuppa, watch TV in my slippers, and be young-old. My wife has just called out to say she has found me a perfect show.
‘‘It’s called Lodgers for Codgers,’’ she says, chortling.
And she wonders why I tend towards the grumpy end of the Old Codger spectrum.
Age clue: I remember US President John F Kennedy being assassinated. At the time, I offered a seven-year-old’s opinion to mum when the news broke: ‘‘at least it wasn’t as bad as Mary Queen of Scots, she had her head chopped off.’’