‘Tiger mums’ learning to be nicer to kids

They are known as China’s ‘‘tiger mums’’ – domineering and ruthlessly competitive mothers willing to push their children to be the best in everything. Now, after decades of domination, the tigers are slowly being declawed.

Chinese parents are signing up to ‘‘parent-child’’ classes in record numbers as they become more aware of the costs of forcing children to the limit, says Zhang Yiyun, a Shanghai-based psychologist.

‘‘It’s been an obvious trend in the past two years that parents are tuning in to their children’s mental health,’’ said Zhang, who offers an eight-week course for those keen to better understand and empower their children.

‘‘In the past, parents were worried when their children were tardy with homework. Now they want to know if their children are mentally healthy.’’

Zhang credited Beijing’s recent ban on ‘‘crammers’’ – after-school private tutors employed to push children in their studies – with the shift in parental attitudes.

‘‘They can slow down, and that voice has grown louder. Parents now want to know if their children have a sound character and whether they are happy.’’

Her course has attracted more than 2000 parents since last year.

Xu Ming, 42, a mother of three, became concerned when her 5-yearold son’s teacher said he was quick to lose his temper. She told the South China Morning Post that after doing Zhang’s course, she was ‘‘better

able to accept his emotions, be more patient and provide a calming environment’’.

A 2020 report on the mental health of China’s primary and secondary schoolchildren found that 15-year-olds, while performing better academically than the global average, were less happy.

Xiang Xianming, a professor at Nanjing Normal University who led the study, said it was more important for parents to nurture children’s souls than ‘‘tutor their homework’’. He said academic pressure was one of the main reasons for children’s mental health problems.