Why Euphoria is a tough watch as a parent
My kids are not old enough (18) to watch Euphoria ,so I watched both seasons with the remote taped to my hand, ready to pause if they walked into the lounge – you never knew when a stray penis or breast would appear.
I know the show’s a cocktail of sensationalistic, hormonal phantasmagoria, designed to shock so we all remained glued to it.
I know high school melodramas pull us in because we experienced it ourselves: parties, drama, betrayal, confusion, and hookups.
But what’s freaked me out about Euphoria is the stuff you hope isn’t happening with teenagers, but suspect is: nudes, sex videos, drugs.
Throughout the show, I kept having weird outbursts with my kids about things I’d seen.
My first was about porn. In a scene where, Mackay (boy), thinks girls like choking when they’re having sex because it’s all over porn, he tries it with his girlfriend, Cassie.
She forcefully and clearly tells him to stop – not a common thing to see in porn – but then, because sexual desires are complicated, after he apologises, Cassie says: ‘‘I might want you to at some point but only when I say so.’’
Worried, I blundered my way through trying to explain this to my eldest when he was trapped in the car with me.
‘‘Porn is acting!’’ (I know, Mum). ‘‘It’s not even good acting!’’ (grunt) ‘‘And there’s violent stuff done to women, which looks like they’re enjoying, but that’s not real life.’’ (My son was trying to crawl out of the car window at this point.)
Then there are the drugs. Zendaya’s character, Rue, tells Fezco, her friend and drug dealer that she takes drugs to quiet her brain. Rue’s character explores neurodiversity and addiction – she has ADHD, bipolar, anxiety, depression and BPD, plus there’s extreme grief – and she reaches for opioids. It’s despair on repeat.
But knowing my kids had only heard about a glamorised molly (MDMA) scene, I jumped on it.
‘‘There’s nothing glamorous about drug addiction: stealing from your friends, verbally abusing everyone you love, and breaking into homes!’’ (OK, Mum). ‘‘Also the lying!’’ (eyeroll). ‘‘And denying!’’ (silence). ‘‘And being so frightened and lonely.’’ (We get it!)
The sex videos are also concerning. Kat, one of the best characters, gets shamed by everyone for being in a video and when she gets pulled into the principal’s office she shames him for assuming that just because the girl in the video is fat, that it’s her.
It’s brilliant, and afterward, Kat discovers her own sexual agency and dominatrix confidence.
I’m always talking to my kids about the judgement of fat bodies, so raised it again. ‘‘Girls in fat bodies are either hypersexualised or being shamed for their size.’’ (Uh-huh). ‘‘Do you think that’s fair?’’ (What’s for dinner?)
Then there’s the sharing of nudes and videos. I wanted to crawl under the couch in the opening episode when a room full of dudes watch Cassie have sex. Ugggh! What do we tell our kids about this?
Tech is part of sex for any generation younger than Gen X and I know there’s no point saying ‘‘don’t do it!’’
I have told them everyone says, after nudes are leaked, that they trusted the person. (OMG Mum, I’m never going to do that).
I really wish a cool aunty, anyone but me, could walk in and say: ‘‘So… if you’re going to take nudes or videos, don’t have anything identifiable like a photo of you and your dog in the background, don’t show your face or any distinguishing marks like birthmarks or tattoos, and if they get leaked, deny deny deny!’’
If only these hard subjects could be spelled out in Euphoria Scrabble. ‘‘Sex videos’’ (double word score) with ‘‘Be Careful’’ (triple letter score!)
Finally, I wish a line from Fezco the drug dealer – who’s got more morals than most of the kids in Euphoria – could pop up on my kids’ social media: ‘‘People are sharing way too much. They be ruinin’ the mystery. If I like someone I want to find out what they’re about on my own. I don’t want the Google scraps. I want to peel back the layers myself.’’
What’s freaked me out about Euphoria is the stuff you hope isn’t happening with teenagers, but suspect is: nudes, sex videos, drugs.