Dead? Cricket’s very much alive and hitting
There have been a number of cricketing priests standing over the game, reading the poor old thing its last rites.
It’s years since we were first told the sad news the death of cricket was nigh. To save time people got on with the mourning because they were concerned it would cut into their iPhone time. But, and I say this with great affection, is cricket really dead or just pretending?
Typical cricket, taking all day or five days when a few hours would do to pop its clogs. The southern hemisphere has breathed a sigh of relief that it no longer has to stare at the rotting corpse but up in the north, there are a lot of people in baggy caps and white trousers, walking around and giving it another nudge with the bat.
It’s all because of our teeny tiny attention span I’m afraid. People can sit for days in a dark room gaming but put them in the daylight with an over-priced beer in a plastic cup and make them watch cricket and they’ll implode with boredom.
Yes, that’s a thing. I almost did it several times as a child. The only time I came close to it as an adult was watching footage of former England batsman Geoffrey Boycott. Now I just use his commentary as a sedative.
Test cricket doesn’t feel like it’s on the critical list. Huge crowds still turn up for test internationals – well, except maybe in New Zealand. There’s always a buzz before any series with Australia and it’s become a national masochistic pastime in England to watch their team flail about.
As a thank you, the pride of old Blighty lost the first test against Pakistan in just over three days so fans didn’t get too bored. This may be why the ECB has come up with this 100-ball tournament. Done and dusted in three hours, family friendly and it’s a brand new event where men’s and women’s teams can be promoted together. It could also be a masterful plan to help one of their male test batsman reach 100 – runs or balls, they’re not fussy.
Twenty20 is being blamed for the English batsmen’s poor technique and inability to hang around longer than the Aussies at a Cheats Anonymous meeting. Funnily enough, it’s also being hailed as the reason for Pakistan’s fitness levels which have improved endurance at the crease.
Pakistan’s new-found fielding skills have transformed them into a team of young Brendon McCullums, although former Black Caps coach Steve Rixon has been busy behind the scenes.
Maybe cricket is suffering from selffulfilling prophecy? If we all stand around and talk about its impending doom, pretty soon it will admit it does feel a little queasy and retire hurt.
Are we worried about its health because it looks so pale when lined up against all the bling of the shorter forms of the game?
Maybe in our desperation to make it more exciting we’ve flooded the pitch. Calendars are more crammed than Cameron Bancroft’s pockets. I’m not sure how England cricketers can fit in county matches, tests, ODIs, Twenty20s and soon, the 100-ball format when they only have two weeks of summer.
Fans have been over-indulged. There are so many games and we only have a certain amount of cash to spend so we want bang, cracks, blows and smashes for our buck, or pound. The art of just sitting, sometimes for 20 minutes or more to see one boundary, has been lost. We’re no longer grateful just greedy. You’d think fans would welcome longer matches considering you can spend an entire Twenty20 match in a queue for beer at some venues.
Cricket is far from taking its last breath. It just needs to shed a few formats and tournaments so it doesn’t die from over-exposure.