Paradise lost?

Over-rated Kiwi hotspots

People naturally have high expectations when they visit a place that portrays itself as 100 per cent pure; as the reallife manifestation of a fantastical utopia.

New Zealand is still marketing itself as the real Middle Earth more than four years after the release of the last film in The Hobbit trilogy and it feels almost fraudulent. Frodo didn’t begin his epic unexpected journey in dull, chronically underconstruction downtown Auckland.

He may have risked death at the hands of goblins, orcs and a deceptively dangerous stoor hobbit driven crazy by greed but, unlike modern-day visitors to New Zealand, he wasn’t in danger of being bored to death by field after endless field of farm animals and towns where the star – and sometimes only – attraction is a public toilet or giant fruit, vegetable, gumboot or soft drink bottle.

Perhaps it’s time we started under-promising and overdelivering, rather than the other way round. Here are a few destinations we think are at least a little overrated.

AUCKLAND CBD

I often pity the poor cruise passengers disgorged in the soulless steel and concrete jungle that is downtown Auckland.

Wandering, bemused and with cameras unused, up the chain storelined wind tunnel that is Queen St, the Viaduct with its average restaurants with above-average prices and, in the case of those who make the mistake of heading east, the industrial-scale eyesore that is the Ports of Auckland.

Hardly inspiring on a good day but utterly miserable when it’s wet (a fair portion of the year then). Sure, there are some decent places to eat and drink at Britomart but nothing worth making an international voyage for.

You can get French, Japanese, Vietnamese and Mexican food anywhere – and often at much better prices. There is nothing here, save a few pricey designer boutiques, that is distinctly Auckland or New Zealand; no unique point of difference. The sad – or sadder – thing is this is all some visitors see of New Zealand.

HOBBITON

Pay $84 to visit a fake village built into the otherwise nondescript hills of a sheep and cattle farm?

Unless your sole motivation is to get a shot of yourself gazing out at the countryside from the underground ‘‘hole’’ of a hairy-footed quasi-human a la a zillion other Instagram users, I suggest spending your money elsewhere.

KAWAKAWA PUBLIC TOILETS

Of all the bog standard attractions in New Zealand this one’s pretty hard to beat.

Yes they were designed by a

LORNA THORNBER; MARJORIE COOK/ STUFF Above, Paradise doesn’t always live up to its name; right, considered one of the most photographed trees in the world, that Wanaka Tree appears on T-shirts, shopping bags and other tourist paraphernalia.

JASON DORDAY, KELLY HODEL, KAMALA HAYMAN/STUFF From top: Downtown Auckland, the gateway to New Zealand for many; you’re literally chasing a fantasy at Hobbiton people; when a town’s star attraction is its toilets, you should know to give it a wide berth; these days you are more likely to spend a fortune than make one in the former gold mining town of Arrowtown.