Getting back to being social
Who would have imagined that a microscopic virus would change all our lives, grind nations to a halt, and stop us from doing the very thing that humans crave – physical and social connection?
Covid-19 has made social distancing what we do, preventing close physical contact as we all work to eliminate this deadly virus.
Our job has been to stay home and save lives, something that a social person like me hasn’t found easy.
For others, social distancing has been heartbreaking – unable to attend loved ones’ funerals, missing the birth of their own baby, and many other life events we’ve had to forgo.
We haven’t been able to attend weddings, tangi, or gather for worship, or commemorate cultural and religious days.
Social distancing has seen our creativity blossom with ways to stay connected and be the social people that we are. Zoom, Skype and many other online tools have been put to good use ensuring that people can virtually worship together, attend funeral wakes, or commemorate significant life moments.
Seeing these alternative forms of gathering and ways to celebrate, commemorate and contemplate got me wondering how important are our traditions of gathering together?
Why do Christians need to gather for Easter? Why do we need to attend tangihanga and funerals? Why do Muslims come together to celebrate the breaking of the fast of Ramadan? Why do New Zealanders and Australians need to gather before sunrise each April to commemorate ANZAC day? Why do we look forward to attending wha¯ nau and friends’ birthdays and significant wedding anniversaries?
These celebrations, commemorations and anniversaries are a crucial part of our society. They’re marked in our calendar and remind us of who we are. They help us to look back on our history, with the hope they will guide in forging our future. These moments help us to know that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. They contribute immensely to our feelings of social cohesion, focusing on cultural, religious, and family celebrations and commemorations which helps to inform family and community members of our traditions and connection to each other.
Cultural, religious, secular, and family events celebrate our differences and foster open-mindedness as we learn from others’ values and practices, while showing us common interests and connections.
These calendar-marked moments should unite and educate us to understand others’ perspectives and practices, broaden our own perspectives and practices, and be fully connected with all of our society.
Pondering this got me thinking about the celebrations, commemorations and anniversaries in my calendar. Why are they there? How do they reflect me, my history and culture? More importantly, how do they connect me to my community?
Going through my calendar revealed birthdays for family and friends, including for grandparents who have passed on. There were national and global events such as Waitangi Day, Anzac Day and Labour Day. Then there were Christian events like Good Friday, Pentecost and All Saints Day.
I also had significant Ma¯ ori commemorations such as Ma¯ ui
Po¯ mare Day, Puanga Festival, and Parihaka Day. I have community events like World Suicide Prevention Day, Conservation Week, and Children’s Day. What does my calendar say about me and what does your calendar say about you?
My faith compels me to be present to the people around me, to show respect and compassion for all people.
Sadly at times the Christian tradition I come from has discouraged connecting with and understanding other religions, cultures and traditions. When we lean in and learn from those who have different beliefs, values and cultural traditions, this doesn’t diminish who we are. Understanding and appreciating others challenges our beliefs and practices, strengthening and sometimes creating questions for why we do what we do.
Reflecting on my calendar has shown me that I belong to a rich and diverse community. It reminds me, also, that I have a lot to understand about who we are as a culture, including my commitment to partnership with Ma¯ ori, who have been kaitiaki of these lands for close to 1000 years. As we continue to battle Covid-19, take time to look at what’s marked in your calendar. We may be practising physical separation, but how does our calendar encourage our social connection with all of our diverse community, and how might it prompt us to grow and find compassion through understanding others’ values and beliefs?