This Batman loves his nuggets and bed at 7pm
Batman had his cape confiscated last night. He wasn’t listening, threw his weapons, and wouldn’t brush his teeth. So the cape had to go.
Now, I have limited knowledge of the crime-fighting superhero from Gotham, but I would assume he’s pretty good at following instructions in order to, you know, save lives and that.
But no, not this Batman. This Batman eats chicken nuggets more than twice a week, loves a warm milk, has a 7pm bedtime, and calls me mama.
This Batman is my 3-year-old son. At least that’s what he tells people. At birth, we named him Theo, but in his mind he is Batman. It is his true identity.
We knew he loved Batman and would pretend to be him, but we didn’t know just how deep it went until attending toddler football at the weekend.
The kids were asked to find a friend to pass the ball back and forth with, and when little Mackenzie’s mum asked my son what his name was, he replied very sincerely with “Batman”.
It melted my heart when rather than dismissing him, the mum just went: “OK, Batman, you stand over there and we’ll kick the ball.”
Batman has been all-consuming in our house for the last few months.
It’s caught my son’s imagination more than every other phase before it. More than The Wiggles, more than Thomas the Tank Engine, and more than Paw Patrol.
He’s got shorts and T-shirts with Batman on them, and if they are in the wash, my husband and I know we are in for a hard morning, because he doesn’t want to wear one of his many other perfectly fine garments. He only wants to wear Batman.
And so the meltdowns and the backand-forth bargaining begin, which makes an already hectic morning of trying to get two kids out the door and make it to work on time much more chaotic.
It was at Christmas time that he was teetering on the edge of the obsession. But he was still experimenting with other superheroes.
Then my brother got him a Batman costume complete with cape, and that threw the obsession into overdrive. It is now his most prized possession. He would wear it all day, every day if he could. Sometimes we fight it and make him take it off in public for trips to the supermarket and such, but at other times, it’s easier to just let Batman fly.
I’m sure there are worse things for your kid to be dressed up as in public.
During a recent stay at a beach holiday park, he happily wandered the camp and ran along the sand donned in said cape. People would wave with a smile on their face, saying, “Hi, Batman”. Which as a mum made me so happy that people were being kind to him.
While most saw him and thought it was adorable, other younger members staying at the park were not so happy.
When my son was on the trampoline, his cape flying up and down while he happily bounced, a little girl came up wanting to join. Her mum told her to hop on, but she wouldn’t. “I don’t want to – Batman’s on there,” she said. He likes to give us all superhero titles, too – I’m Batgirl, which I take as a compliment; his baby sister is Wonder Woman; and, in a real power move, he’s made his dad Robin, his sidekick and second in command. I’m sure it’s not the character my husband grew up dreaming to be, especially as he’s over 6ft tall, and Robin definitely isn’t known for his height, but he plays along dutifully anyway.
If you can’t already tell, my son takes his role as Batman very seriously. He could be zoned out in front of the TV or in the middle of playing, but if he ever hears his sister cry, his bat ears perk up and it’s into protective mode.
“Don’t worry, Batman will save you.” And when he heard a story about his Great Nana nearly getting attacked by a kangaroo, into protective mode he shot again. “Don’t worry Nana, I’m Batman and I will save you from that kangaroo.” If he’s going to adorably protect and serve, like a good superhero does, then I guess I’ll allow Batman his cape back.