Wedding diversity

Jo Smith, a celebrant of 15 years who conducts ceremonies covering the whole spectrum of life.

She was the perfect person to sit down and have a chat about wedding diversity and I had a lot of questions to ask.

She was open and honest, and I could tell that she felt it was a privilege to marry couples across all genders.

I learnt that there used to an unwritten cap on how many celebrants became registered, so becoming one could take years. Nowadays there is no limit as long as the applicant meets all the criteria.

I thought I was well versed with marriage ceremonies, I have had two and attended many, but times have changed and so have the ceremonies.

Celebrants Aotearoa NZ

Firstly, I asked Jo why she joined Celebrants Aotearoa NZ and did all celebrants have to be associated with this organisation?

“Celebrants Aotearoa NZ is the only professional association of celebrants in New Zealand. Being a member comes with a Code of Ethics and Practice underpinning our professionalism and integrity. CANZ also encourages ongoing training and development opportunities and has links to independent training providers in New Zealand. It is not compulsory for a registered marriage celebrant to become a member, however the Registrar-General recommends joining because of the many benefits and networking opportunities.

Their CANZ members create and facilitate ceremonies and rituals which respond to the diverse needs and values of New Zealand individuals, families, and communities,” said Jo.

I asked Jo if you need to have a qualification to be a marriage celebrant.

“It’s not a requirement to have a qualification, however when I decided to become a celebrant back in 2007, I enrolled and studied for two certificates, Celebrant Studies, and Funeral Proficiency with AUT University. This has given me considerable depth of knowledge as a practising celebrant”

When and how have Marriage Ceremonies changed?

In 1976, the New Zealand Marriage Act 1955 was amended to allow for the appointment of civil celebrants,

or independent celebrants, as they have been termed by the government since 2005.

The driving force for the 1976 Amendment was the growth of secularism, as the population demanded an alternative to a religious ceremony.

A registry-office wedding was not deemed to be a suitable ceremonial alternative by many of the population. Couples were looking for a more personal, less traditional ceremony that allowed for their input, as opposed to a prescribed religious format.

Civil Union

The Civil Union Act 2004 was passed into law on Thursday, 9 December 2004, by a final vote of 65–55 in the New Zealand Parliament. The Act makes it legal for those in same-sex as well as heterosexual relationships to enter a civil-union.

A date to remember 19 August 2013

‘The Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Act was passed into law on this date, and this enabled couples to marry regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. The new statutory definition of marriage in the Marriage Act defines marriage as ‘the union of 2 people, regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity’.

When the marriage act was changed to allow same sex marriages to be legal, there was a flurry of couples wanting to stand up in public and say “I do “.

New Zealand certainly put its name on the map at being in the forefront of civil rights!

Ceremonies

There are two types of marriage ceremony that you can have.

The first being a Registry Ceremony, a simple, civil, legal ceremony with a standard script and set vows, which today is carried out by a validated independent celebrant. It is similar to the ceremony previously conducted in registry offices or the courthouse.

A Personalised Ceremony has no restrictions, set script or vows. It can be anywhere, anytime and is usually written and conducted by a registered marriage celebrant. A religious marriage ceremony is still possible and today it may have some degree of personalisation.

What if the couple does not speak English?

If language is a barrier and no English is spoken, then the couple will have to organise an interpreter. For a marriage to be deemed legal in New Zealand, it must be understood and witnessed by all parties, the couple, two witnesses and the registered celebrant.

A celebrant’s job is to. . .

Interview the couple, do some homework, especially if there are traditions to be observed, write a draft ceremony, let the couple have the option to go over the script and have the choice to add or remove anything.

A celebrant must see all the legal proceedings on the day are observed, along with making it a moving and joyful occasion.

Diversity on the day

Some of the more memorable marriage ceremonies Jo has had the pleasure in officiating at are . . .

A wedding where the two marrying were female, one in a white wedding dress and the other in a white trouser suit. Vows and pronouncement said, they dived face down and slid along a detergent fuelled long white waterslide in the aisle, while water balloons filled with coloured water were thrown at them. It was like a classic ‘cream pie fight’ with water bombs, simply hilarious. Those once white outfits became “rainbow” coloured. . . just a perfect finish to a “rainbow” ceremony.

A multicultural wedding where the bride was Chinese and the groom English. . .The bride’s parents did not speak English so how were Chinese traditions and the language barrier dealt with? Before their vows, the couple enacted, a Chinese tea ceremony for each other’s mothers. And the groom (who had been practising) spoke vows in Mandarin. A special touch that was fully understood.

Another memorable ceremony for Jo was for an older couple. The groom was 75 and the bride was turning 70. Everyone thought they were coming to celebrate a 70th birthday party and found out it was a surprise wedding. It was also the first time in 20 years that the bride’s 13 siblings had all been together. Now that is special!

Weddings can be as simple as a ceremony on the beach or as elaborate as silk gowns, Ferraris, and string quartets, but having an experienced and fun marriage celebrant will put you at ease, make your day special, moving, and joyful. . . well, that is the icing on the cake.