Infertility journeys laid bare

When Sex is Not Enough: Three Fertility Journeys

By Melissa Hori, Stephanie Larnder and Simone Fernandes, Yourbooks.nz, $27.99

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.. .. One in four couples in New Zealand will struggle with fertility issues. This is the story of three couples and their attempts to have a child.

Been there, done that myself, but my adopted children are now 40 and 38 so times and technology have changed. But the feelings around infertility never change. Melissa, Stephanie and Simone are honest about their emotional journey and physical struggles.

They vary from endometriosis, an early hysterectomy, IVF, surrogacy to adoption. They are revealing about the technical deails, the inpenetrable New Zealand medical system and the long wait for help, and the enormous cost.

They also reveal what happens at work if you reveal you’re trying to get pregnant. “In New Zealand, having kids will get you an income but the threat of never having any gets you f*** all.” There are supportive bosses and those who make the whole process a nightmare.

Then there are the friends and family who have stupid, intrusive things to say. The baby showers as friends and sisters get pregnant.

The women’s husbands also have their say and are open about how infertility affects their marriages.

This is a superb book for the one in four couples trying to have a baby, and for their friends who want to help. —