Think big: Why not go the whole fog?
It’s time for small towns to go big again in a whole new way, Glenn Dwight says.
WHere is the challenge: what part of our great land do we need to celebrate?
ith the election over, it’s time for New Zealand to think big again . . . Forget those 80s Muldoon Think Big projects that became a rocky horror picture show; think big, like the L&P bottle in Paeroa, the carrot in Ō hakune, the big gumboot in Taihape, and Gore’s big old Brown Trout!
And before you ask, Gore landed its big fish in 1989, two years before Rakaia hooked its big salmon, and sorry, Waimakariri, your big fish got away ...
So, having a BIG object in your town is the way to put it on the map and get tourists ready to make your town “Instagram Famous” #thecountry. It worked for Onsen and their big bath.
But here is the challenge: what part of our great land do we need to celebrate? Forget the big cities; Auckland already has its big hypodermic needle, and Wellington has an overinflated Beehive, so we don’t need to worry about them. We need to celebrate our small rural towns — the places that built this country, but with urbanisation, have been forgotten.
I mentioned the Rocky Horror Picture Show in the opening paragraph, so I will start with Hamilton because, in my eyes, Hamilton got its “big” all wrong (a little like when it tried the tagline “Hamilton, more than you expect”). Yes, it did jump on the “big” bandwagon with its Big Riff Raff Statue (that I am informed is anatomically correct). But Hamilton should have thought bigger and celebrated the Waikato region. And the trick it missed was FOG; that is the thing Waikato is famous for and should be celebrated. The thing marketing people with their Mac books and black-rimmed glasses have failed to see for years.
I know what you are thinking; the writer has “mist” the mark here, but here is my concept: a giant fog wall across State Highway 1 by Taupiri.
The idea is based on those PVC fly screen curtains that once adorned bach doors and fish and chip shop doors across the country.
While those were colourful celebrations of the joys of deep frying and “togs togs togs undies”, the Big Fog Wall would be made of white PVC streamers that you can drive through with the same joy and excitement you once ran through the bach door as a youngster.
Yes, it would create driving anarchy, but so does fog, so mission accomplished. And the Waikato tagline could easily become, “Waikato — don’t mist out!”
Next on the BIG list is little old Sheffield. I am thinking a giant pie to celebrate the joy of this Kiwi cuisine.
Maybe it could have a built-in breathalyser, and the police could simply ask you to blow on the pie.
While on the add-on train (or piein), imagine if the giant Sheffield pie emitted a mince and cheese aroma. Come for the pie, stay for the smell. Sorry, Rotorua, you got nothing on this tourist idea! This also opens the door for a Sheffield fragrance, eau de pie.
So, the above proves that there is room for more BIG thinking in this great country. And now is a time for communities to rally together and think BIG — go big or go home, you could say.
And if you’re worried that, like in the Muldoon era, this “think big” mentality will cripple small rural communities rather than bring huge tourist numbers and dollars, a wall of fog or giant pie is almost guaranteed too. Think outside the box. Like the trendy green taglines, recycle, repurpose, and reuse.
Maybe you can repurpose an already existing landmark. For example, Waihī could utilise the opencast goldmine and go with the idea “Waihī: A BIG HOLE.”
Okay, that might need work, but the idea is there. I also am not sure if Sir Mick Jagger or Keith Richards have the rights to calling Invercargill the a-hole of the world, so best we keep away from that for copyright reasons; those boys have deep pockets.
Or Huntly, those power station chimneys would make the perfect big ciggy, maybe with a little New Zealand First funding — the Big Winnie Blues — and if big ciggies are out in the current climate of change, maybe Huntly and its Big Digital Durry (Winnie-bluetooth?).
Anyway, you get the idea; with a little imagination and some paint, you can make your big icon on a small budget!
So, here’s the BIG finish: if you’re a small town or a rural community, it’s time to think BIG. It’s time to celebrate what makes your home the best bloody place in this country and GO BIG.