Parents step up to help save lives
Raising funds for suicide support services
Advisory: This article mentions suicide and may be distressing to some readers.
Pa¯pa¯moa parents whose son died by his own hand six years ago have raised thousands of dollars for a service they wished he had used. Tanya Broomhead has walked 6km or more daily to mark the anniversary of her son Ethan’s death and raise awareness for mental health.
Tanya said she wanted “something good” to come from their family’s tragic loss.
On many of these walks, she has been joined by husband David, the pair wearing blue and orange shirts, which were Ethan’s favourite colours.
After initially setting a target of $6000-$1000 for each year since Ethan’s passing — and reaching it in just five days, Tanya says she decided to double it, so it was ongoing during Mental Health Week. The $12,000 goal has now been reached.
Ethan was born in Tauranga on July 13, 1998, spending his school years at Pa¯ pa¯ moa Primary School, Te Puke Intermediate and then Pa¯pa¯moa College.
Tanya said her son was a “real kind, caring soul” who was always there for his parents, younger sister Brooke, friends, girlfriend and peers, whether it be for emotional or physical support.
The “fun-loving boy was always laughing”, she said.
He also remained calm and levelheaded with a passion for sport, people and woodwork.
Tanya said children adored Ethan and he would have made a “really awesome father”.
“We wish he realised how awesome he was, and how much everyone loved him. We wish he had given himself the same care as he gave to others,” she said.
Ethan planned to start a building apprentice after college, having a knack for “hands-on stuff” and a “natural physical ability”.
He excelled at all sports but was happiest when water skiing on a lake where he could carve a “mean rooster tail” on a single ski, Tanya said. “It used to p*** people off because he would go and do any sport things and win.”
Ethan’s death on August 31, 2016, turned the family’s life “upside down” and rocked the entire school community. Tanya said it came as a “massive shock” to everyone who knew him.
The family was left with “so many questions that would never be answered” and a “heartache that is always there and will never go away”.
“It does just leave you with the thought ‘What the heck did we do wrong?’ I thought we were doing all great things and knew everything about him. We thought we talked lots as a family.”
Tanya quit her job after Ethan’s death and avoided going out in public, aside from visiting him at the cemetery every day for the next year. David wanted to withdraw from society.
After six years, the couple continue to “carry on and put on a smile” but Ethan’s memory has never left.
“It’s always little things you hear or see. I still replay conversations thinking ‘Did I miss something?’ We still live in the same house so there are all the memories from his whole childhood there,” Tanya said.
“You like hearing what all his friends are doing but you think he could have been doing that. That’s kinda hard.”
The couple has previously commemorated the anniversary of Ethan’s death by watching the sunset at Pilot Bay, but this year they felt the need to do something bigger.
It was a way to raise funds for an important charity, while also keeping their son’s memory alive through talking.
“I was trying to think about what charity to raise money for and then just came across Lifeline. We wished he used a lifeline,” Tanya said.
“I [don’t] want the day to pass and then, blip, it’s gone. I want his name
Where to get help
to be spoken. I want people to talk to me about him.”
In line with Mental Health Awareness Week, they wanted to raise awareness about the importance of talking and that suicide could impact anyone, not just those with diagnosed conditions.
“Talk about it and don’t think it’s not going to happen to me. We thought that, and look what happened,” she said. “Listen to each other, talk and if you see any changes talk about it. Ask people how they are feeling properly.”
She said she wanted to increase awareness.
“What we learned was, don’t think it’s not going to happen to me, don’t think because my child is doing well and everything seems 100 per cent good, that’s going to save it from happening to them.
“I think it’s about making everybody aware, and that if they don’t want to talk to their family, maybe reach out to Lifeline — that’s why I chose Lifeline because some people maybe don’t feel comfortable talking to people close to them.”
David said the main focus was to support an organisation working to prevent further suicides.
“We don’t want anyone to live through what we lived through. The more people open up, and the more these organisations are funded the less children, friends, family will die. In many ways, it’s a hidden disease still. Hopefully, this will help save someone’s life.”
To donate to the Broomheads’ cause visit: lifeline-aotearoa.grassrootz. com/fundraise-for-lifeline/ ethan-6-to-6