Pregnant woman devastated by midwife’s affair with her husband

‘I literally thought I was losing my mind.’

A PREGNANT woman, whose midwife had an affair with her partner, thought she was ‘‘going crazy’’ in suspecting they were sleeping together.

Health and Disability Commissioner Anthony Hill has found the midwife in breach of professional and ethical standards for having an affair with the man and further action will be considered against her.

The self-employed midwife had been close personal friends of the couple, and provided care to the woman during her second pregnancy, Hill’s decision says.

In 2013, the woman became pregnant with her third child and employed the midwife again.

She said she began to suspect the midwife was having an affair with her partner towards the end of her pregnancy, but was in denial.

‘‘I went into shock, I could not believe that two people who were supposed to care for me could possibly be so horrible and act with such disregard,’’ she says in the report.

‘‘The final two months of my pregnancy were horrible. I was working, I had two small children and I thought I was going crazy to be thinking that my midwife and socalled friend was sleeping with the father of my children.

‘‘I literally thought I was losing my mind. I was paranoid and in a high state of anxiety.’’

The pair would also engage in ‘‘sexting’’. The woman discovered the incriminating messages on her partner’s phone early last year.

The midwife agreed she had a sexual relationship with her client’s partner, and told the commission there had been a ‘‘mutual attraction’’ for some time.

‘‘I am completely aware of how inappropriate our relationship was on both a personal and professional level,’’ she said. ‘‘I am ashamed and embarrassed by my conduct and the distress and pain it has caused [the woman] ... I have failed to uphold [her] rights in so many ways.’’

The woman said no apology could ever undo the hurt caused by the midwife’s actions.

She also complained the midwifery care was not at the same standard as her previous pregnancy.

The commissioner found the clinical care was reasonable and in accordance with expected practice.

However, Hill said the midwife failed to consider the woman’s health and wellbeing and the impact the affair would have on her and her family. It was a ‘‘serious breach’’ of professional and ethical standards.

He recommended she enter into a mentoring relationship with a senior colleague for a year so she could learn to maintain appropriate professional boundaries with patients and their families.

She has also been referred to the Director of Proceedings, who will decide whether legal action will be taken against her. The names and location of the parties have been suppressed.