Facing her final days with a smile
The conversation starts with a deep breath, in and out.
Poonam Zodgekar opens her eyes and smiles but her hands tremble as she takes a sip of water.
She knows her days are numbered, suffering stage four lung cancer and brain metastases.
But the 35-year-old is positive and bubbly.
Daughter Siona turns 3 soon but Zodgekar has planned gifts and letters for years to come, marking each milestone after she has gone.
A photo of an 18-month-old Siona hangs from the lounge wall in her parents’ home in Karori, Wellington. ‘‘She’s even cuter now and she just talks, talks, talks, talks,’’ Zodgekar says as she chokes back tears.
Siona is the main focus, ‘‘because if I’m not here next week, I want her to have memories of me’’.
‘‘I do not get the pleasure of this precious person in my life – to see her grow up in front of me, and to walk alongside and hold her hand. Let her know she’s always loved, cared for and supported. I spend a lot of time in self-reflection,’’ Zodgekar says.
It was Easter last year, when Zodgekar was working as a palliative care social worker in Sydney, that she was struck by a sudden onset of nausea, headaches, blurry vision and slow mental processing.
Countless doctors found nothing wrong but her family witnessed Zodgekar’s continued fatigue and her loss of 12kg in just eight weeks.
It was June when medical images of her brain put the pieces of the puzzle together. The Indianborn Wellington Girls’ College graduate broke the news to her family weeks before Siona’s second birthday.
Her health rapidly declined and work was no longer an option. While she had treatment, Zodgekar needed her parents’ help back in Wellington.
‘‘When you say unconditional love, that is my parents.’’
A talented student, Zodgekar came to New Zealand at age 12. She spoke three languages, ran the school’s magazine and was part of its marching band.
She went on to study genetics in Dunedin before earning a masters in social work and 22 letters after her name. But a passion to serve her community in palliative care won over.
‘‘I was truly passionate about my work and the clients who taught me so much.’’
The first was a 22-year-old woman with cancer, who had already survived brain cancer before 21. ‘‘I saw how she and her family processed things and dealt with their grief and loss. Even in the most difficult of circumstances, how people find the strength to keep going on.’’
It’s an experience she draws on now, as she is cared for by Mary Potter Hospice staff.
Talking about her journey through the hospice is a final service to her community. Without palliative care, Zodgekar would Mary Potter Hospice is celebrating 30 years since the Little Company of Mary Sisters donated this facility to the people of Wellington. In March 1988, sisters from the order’s Wellington, Porirua and Kapiti wings expanded the service from its Catholic roots to become the partially government funded, charitable foundation it is today. In 1929, a group of Catholic sisters, under the direction of the Venerable Mary Potter, established Calvary Hospital (originally called Lewisham) in Florence St, Newtown.
Its mission was ‘‘to bring the healing presence of Christ to allcomers, especially the sick and dying, through prayer and care’’. By 1978, New Zealand’s first Mary Potter Hospice was set up as part of Calvary Hospital, which was donated to the Wellington community a decade later.
The search then got underway for a new site.
With the help of Wellington residents, $4.1 million was raised to keep the $6.1m community-owned hospice running.
Work began at 48 Mein St in 1989.
have been ‘‘completely lost’’.
‘‘To me, hospice care is about very holistic care. It’s not a number or person in front of you that gets diagnosed. It’s an entire family and their community.
‘‘I felt very ready to cope with things because of that [support]. To accept death and dying as a part of life. It’s really uplifting.’’