Over the S word: Is something wrong with me?
Dear Dr Soothberry,
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve lost interest in sport.
I mean watching it rather than playing it.
My wife is very disappointed. When I was out with my mates watching sport or in front of Sky TV, she could get on with her own life. Now she says I’m always around.
I was losing interest well before the Aussie ball tampering thing and I’m not just talking rugby although that was my main interest. What are we up to? Super 18 or 19. I’ve lost count. In the old days the All Blacks hardly changed from year to year. Now I couldn’t name more than five or six.
As a young man I could talk non-stop about provincial and All Black rugby with my barber for the length of the haircut. I watched every All Black test and read all the match reports. In fact I would read the sports section from beginning to end.
Now I can hardly be bothered. I sort of dread the winter and all the expectations to rave on about games I haven’t seen or even knew were on. I keep up but only out of duty.
I used to get excited on the day of a rugby test match. These days it just seems like one more tedious chore. I could blame rugby overload but it not just that. The malaise goes deeper.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bored with life. I didn’t watch a bit of the Winter Olympics. They just left me cold. I find it hard to keep up with all the variations of the official sports.
Rugby has got fifteens, sevens and elevens. Cricket has got one dayers, 20/20, test matches and now the Indian league. Every sport seems to have a super this or a super that, not to mention a bewildering array of world cups, indoor series and outdoor tournaments.
I tried lots of different sports to enliven my interest but nothing seems to spin my wheels like in the past.
You might think I’m just overanxious and over-thinking the enjoyment of sport. I can see what you mean and you might suggest some medication to relax me but really my sport watching usually encompasses a beverage so relaxation is not the problem.
I know I have some moral, perhaps religious, hang-ups about sport and these aren’t helpful. I sort of think, and I know this is old fashioned, that sport should be honourable and played according to the rules. That it should feature sportsmanship and restraint in winning or losing. I know it sounds ridiculous. I don’t see the need for sledging, insults and overly aggressive behaviour.
So yes, you could say I’m a little disillusioned by all the matchfixing, ball-tampering, performance-enhancement drugtaking, histrionics, Hollywoods and state-sanctioned cheating. I suppose sport had always been like this but I guess I expect a bit better in my old age.
I wonder if I actually care too much and since all my teams lose I have developed a couldn’t-care-less attitude to protect myself from the angst. Maybe I just can’t bear all the stupid hype that seems to surround sport these days.
I hope you can help. I really miss the enjoyment and excitement I used to get from sport.
Dear Martin,
Many men your age have this problem so you are not alone. All the reasons you mention show a good deal of self-examination, which is a very good start.
Some men unfortunately try to artificially reactivate their interest by using various stimulants but that will only be counter productive in the end so don’t be tempted.
One thing you should consider is that you are just going through a phase which will right itself with a bit of time and patience. What’s the hurry? Sport is not going anywhere, is it? Maybe you just need to give sport a rest for six months to see if you can rekindle your desire.
Many men find this exercise helpful. Abstain from watching any sport for a week and then go into a dark room which contains only your television set and Sky remote.
Turn on any of the sports channels and just sit there and watch for five minutes, trying to completely absorb yourself in the match or game or whatever. Try to ignore thoughts of cheating, overload and cheap hype. Just concentrate on the action.
Just when it’s getting exciting turn the television off and leave the room. Repeat this every night for a week and at the end see if you have managed to pique your interest. It’s worked wonders for some.
You might also like to consider whether you have finally grown up. Grown-ups tend to find sport just a little tedious especially if there is too much of it. They tend to find something else which gives them an interest and pleasure.
Anyway, good luck.