What you said
Love us or hate us, but do write in! We welcome your views.
Lastweek we ran an interviewbetween BrittMann and Barbara Sumner whose book, Tree of Strangers, explores her feelings and experiences of having been adopted in 1960. Thanks to the two YW readerswho wrote in after that story sparked deeply personal responses.
Thank you for Barbara Sumner’s story, it resonated. Unfortunately in the 1950s babies were often placed with ‘‘Godfearing families’’ asmisguided key criteria. This led to additional negatives as an adoptee: the woman who adopted me wanted to hand me back once I grew old enough to have amind of my own — her reason was that ‘‘I also must have the devil in me’’ (as did my mother in her mind as she gave birth to an illegitimate child); and the only precious keepsake my birth mother was encouraged to give me before parting with me – a tiny gold cross – was never passed on due to a belief that, as Christ died on a wooden cross, anything else was idolatry. But there are positives: a fierce independence and total commitment to bring joy rather than sadness or shame to all I encounter. Barbara Vos
Emily, your words [editorial about adoption, YW September 12] had me weeping, it was like you triggered me to grieve – for so many reasons.
I gave up a daughter in 1965, later husband and I adopted two daughters, one since has adopted out her second child to a couple she chose from a stack of ‘‘pick us’’ albums. Though she chose to not be in contact [with her child, that adoption] was open for the rest of the family to stay connected .
With age comes wisdom, which I think is just having the sense to learn from personal history.
I’mreally proud of all my girls, be it biological or adopted, I give them all the freedom to be who they want to be. I still will weep, but that’s my privilege for all that has passed and all that’s ahead.
Di Conway