Self-care isn’t self-ish – it’s a necessity
Iwas reminded last week of the safety message on flights – put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping someone else. No, it wasn’t in relation to the trans-Tasman bubble. It was minister Kiritapu Allan’s stage 3 cervical cancer diagnosis.
I acknowledge her courage in sharing her news; the professionalism with which she managed the response to the recent earthquakes and tsunami threats while dealing with her own health issue; and now her call to action for other women to get regular smears done.
Many women can relate to her story – not the cancer diagnosis, perhaps, but prioritising work and other responsibilities over self-care.
Self-care is a ‘‘nice to do’’ treat for those days when we have some free time. Those days never come – until it’s no longer care, but treatment.
As a society, we laud and reward busyness. We conflate busyness with productivity, and commitment to our organisations. We think of busy people as successful people.
In pre Covid-19 days, people who went to work when they had a mild cold, or a headache, and kept soldiering on, were seen as being hard-working. Covid-19 has meant even the mildest sniffles are now kept at home. But for many, rather than taking time out while at home, the lockdowns blurred the lines between home and work, with many people doing more hours of work rather than less.
While we have seen a greater spotlight on mental health in the past few years, by and large as a society we still tend to put self-care far down the list of priorities.
So what is self-care, and why does it matter? Self-care includes the actions we take deliberately for our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. Many of us are deliberate about our work and family commitments, but pay little attention to our own needs.
Self-care can include everything from healthy eating, to making time for exercise, to getting adequate sleep, and taking preventive health screening tests. It can be as simple as not checking emails after work hours, and getting better at saying no to some requests of us. It can mean listening to music, walking in nature, or time with family and friends.
Self-care is all about the self – and it’s important we find what works for us, rather than simply replicate what others are doing.
Self-care routines have been proven to reduce anxiety, depression and stress, and improve concentration and energy. They have also been linked to a reduction in the incidences of heart disease, stroke and cancer.
It is not unusual to think of self-care as being selfish. However, it is anything but. We cannot be of use to those we love and care about unless we are well ourselves. We can’t deliver work to the best of our ability unless we are in good health.
Self-care is also seen as something that may not be within everyone’s reach. If you are working multiple jobs to put food on the table, it’s hard to find time to take a break, to do something for your own wellbeing. This is where the role of family and friends becomes so critical.
We respond swiftly when people we care about are diagnosed with health issues – coming to their side to offer support. Perhaps if we took a more active role in encouraging them to take health screening tests, if we provided support so they could take a break – for exercise, or just to pause – we may not end up being part of the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff. Let’s put on our own masks first, and encourage our family and friends to do the same.