Points of order
It’s the last week of a shorter twoweek sitting block. But there was still plenty of craziness to keep us busy down at Parliament. Here’s a look at the week that was:
Former deputy prime minister Sir Michael Cullen is terminally ill but has found the time to write a memoir of his very long political career in the Labour Party. Cullen was one of the funniest – and nastiest – performers in the House of his generation. That acerbity comes across well in the book. Here are some of the best insults.
On Don Brash: ‘‘He was a slow and rigid thinker. He would ask a question, assuming there was only one answer. When he got a different one, he was flustered and baffled.’’ On John Campbell: ‘‘Harry Potterish– looking’’.
On Jim Bolger: ‘‘He almost appears to be claiming to be the best Labour prime minister National ever had.’’ On Roger Douglas: ‘‘. . . he bitterly resented not being allowed to ‘finish the job’ but the fact was that he was psychologically unable to do so.’’
Parliamentary Service had a real day of it on Thursday. First, they emailed the hundreds of staff in Parliament House and the library telling them they couldn’t drink the tapwater. Then the silly new card scanners they have installed locked everyone out of the Press Gallery corridor. Because the Beehive is full, this included some Cabinet ministers who use the press gallery corridor to get to their office.
Green Party communications director Nadine Walker is leaving Parliament for a job with Auckland mayor Phil Goff. Walker is engaged to Green MP Chloe Swarbrick and becomes the latest Green staffer to graduate on to work for a Labour MP, past or present. Former Green Party staffers Holly Donald and Andrew Campbell both work for the prime minister now, while Walker will be working with former press secretary Claire Rorke. Walker will be missed by the Greens.
Cancel culture is alive and well in the House. On Wednesday, a ministerial statement on the Climate Change Commission’s final policy report was put forward for the parties to debate by Climate Change Minister James Shaw. However, the Maori Party was unable to speak on such statements due to Parliament’s rules, which only let parties of a certain size speak. Time and time again the Maori Party have sought leave of the House to have their say, and it’s been granted. The Leader of the House, Labour MP Chris Hipkins, on Wednesday offered to ‘‘short-circuit’’ discussion on whether the Maori Party could speak, by seeking leave of the House for it to be considered a ‘‘specified party’’ during such occasions for the rest of the term. Two parties concerned with freedom of speech, National and ACT, objected.
For low-profile National MP Stuart Smith, the party’s spokesman for climate change, the release of the Climate Change Commission report was a rare moment in the sun. Climate change is hardly an act of God; however, it felt as if a greater force had resolved to cloud Smith’s day. A large fly appeared while he stood on the black and white tiles outside the House, and it pestered him incessantly as he answered media questions. It was batted away, there was laughter, and then it came back. Once in the House, Speaker Trevor Mallard forgot Smith’s name when calling on him to speak on the report, to the amusement of MPs. ‘‘I do want to apologise to Mr Smith. I just had a complete blank on his name,’’ Mallard said after Smith finished speaking.