Craig Wilson, 54, is a former chef and tour operator/ owner of Wilsons Abel Tasman. His partner Ted Basdevant, 46, is an artist/owner of Motueka boutique cinema The Gecko Theatre. The couple live in Nelson with their two dogs Wallace and Walter.
AS TOLD TO
CRAIG: I’m from Motueka but trained as a chef in Wellington with Ruth Pretty at her Kelburn restaurant.
I went to London in 1994 and ended up opening a cafe and bar in Soho with Marc Almond, the singer from Soft Cell. And then I freelanced for celebrities on tour, cooking for people such as The Who, Paul and Linda McCartney, KD Lang and Billy Idol.
I’d been single for a year when I met Ted and, to be honest, I didn’t really have time for a relationship because I was on the road with bands and only had one day off every 20 days.
Ted and I had seen each other around Soho but hadn’t talked before as I don’t think Ted’s English was very good back then. Nothing happened for a while because I always had to get up early the next day to go to work.
I’d previously been in a four-year relationship with an older, bald guy so Ted was the total opposite to that. He looked a bit New Romantic, which I was into at the time. And I was definitely attracted to his French accent.
I made him lunch on our second date because cooking is always a good way to someone’s heart.
My parents were keen for me to come back to Nelson to work for our family business, Wilsons Abel Tasman. In the beginning I was a bit up in the air about returning and wondered if we should live somewhere else. But after about two weeks Ted kept saying, this place is amazing, I want to stay here.
Whenever we go to France I always think it would be nice to live there for a while so we might do that when we retire.
Ted is extremely honest and incredibly loyal. He’s also very community minded and has brought together the arts community. I love his laid-back French energy and his conversation – he’s extremely intelligent and will patiently explain stuff. I go at 100 miles an hour whereas Ted’s more chilled so he slows me down.
He’s an artist so has a unique approach and pace to chores, doing them whenever he gets around to it. As a chef, I’m the opposite – tidy and organised. It’s why we have to have a housekeeper.
But when you’ve been together as long as we have, you get used to each other’s habits and make it work. We fit like a glove.
I wish more people stayed with their partners and worked through issues instead of breaking up as soon as things get hard. It’s definitely an issue I see in the gay community. We’ve been together the longest out of any couple I know.
TED: I was born just outside Paris and lived there until I was 18 when I moved to London. I was 100% single when I met Craig. I’d actually only had one serious relationship before him. I was young and having a good time in London although I was open to romance.
I’d been to Ted’s cafe in Soho but had never spoken to him. One night I saw him out at a club. I was actually dating one of his staff at the time but it wasn’t serious. The friend I was with talked to Craig who told her he liked me. I’d had a few beers so I felt daring and went over and kissed him! He was surprised but I knew he liked me so I wasn’t really taking a risk.
We went to a cafe to chat but Craig had to work the next day so he went home and nothing happened. The same thing happened on our next date – he was always “Mr I Have to Go Home”, so it was a couple of weeks before we got together.
I usually went for dark guys – Mediterranean, Arab, Spanish. Definitely not a ginger, blue-eyed guy! But when I met Craig I realised it was stupid to have a type – you can’t control who you fall in love with. Craig has a great smile and his dimples won me over.
My a-ha moment was when Craig went back to New Zealand for about four months and I missed him terribly. This was pre-internet and cellphones so we wrote each other love letters.
I flew over in April 1998 not knowing anyone apart from Craig. My parents were worried about me moving to the other side of the planet. I wasn’t sure I would like it but we did a two week road-trip around New Zealand and I couldn’t believe how beautiful this country is – how could you not fall in love with it?
Craig has proposed a million times and I’ve said yes but, to be honest, I think a wedding would be a waste of money. And we’ve been together 27 years next month so we don’t need to get married.
Craig is loving, charming and very funny but his best quality can also be his worst – he’s way too generous and would give his shirt off his back to help anyone. He takes people under his wing and does everything he can for them. Which is a great thing but people can abuse his goodness.
We’re complete opposites but we work because we put in the work. The honeymoon period doesn’t last forever. You have to keep working at relationships, even when they get hard.