The wonderful art of bringing up boys
waiver my friend – if you plan to give in, give up.
If you start to complete the jobs you’ve reasonably requested, we could be in a spot of bother too – a little help never goes astray - but if you plan to do it all anyway (e.g. remake the bed ‘properly’) – why bother with all the drama in the first place? Yes, it is easier at times, but who exactly for? And what did you just teach them by taking over/doing it all?
You could give them some basic daily must-do’s for the curtains/bed/teeth/pets/lunch, and then a rotational, weekly afternoon ‘job’ to help out the family – unpaid. Another mire we can fall into is always rewarding the task. Then comes the expectation that we only help out at home for a treat or money.
Sometimes, we should be doing ‘stuff’ because we are part of a cool family and all have a part to play in making our household tick over. We have family who take us to sports and activities. We have people in our lives who care enough to want us to grow into independent young men who don’t plan flatmates around getting a chick in to cook and clean..ahem. It’s reward enough to be able to look after yourself in this ever changing world.
By sitting down as a team and working on this together you may find more success. Totally worth the effort, but you need to do what works for you and your awesome tribe.
Jo Smith is a mother of five wee darlings, teacher and school trustee