So that’s why they call it short tempered
When I was young I thought my father was a great towering man with broad shoulders and limitless strength.
Imagine my surprise when I grew to discover that he was only 5’6’’ and that isn’t towering in any language. Not even in the Shire.
Still, I was right about the shoulders and he was pretty strong in his prime. But that height thing, that wasn’t something he kept to himself.
Through the great genetic lottery I stole a couple of inches stretching all the way to 5’8’’.
So count your blessings and all that but seeing as I wasn’t born in Japan 5’8’’ is not tall. Not even close.
I read somewhere that the average height for a NZ male is 5’ 10’’ so I’ve got two inches to go to get to middle of the road.
For a time in the 90s wedge shoes were semi fashionable and I might have snuck in a extra cheeky inch but short of wearing platform shoes that resemble stilts, I’m still well shy of 5’10’’ and 6ft might as well be Ulaanbaatar. I’m never going to get there.
Still at least the nicknames like Runty Hunty stopped some years back and no one’s called me Frodo at least that I’m aware of. I’m not limited to the boy’s clothing rack. I don’t have to take part in tallest to shortest line-ups anymore and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never light the basketball world on fire.
So maybe not that short after all. In dog terms not quite chihuahua maybe more jack russell. In fact, there’s a lot to be learned from their example.
Good for a burst over short distances and largely oblivious to the fact they only come up to the knees of most other dogs and frequently wade in well past their depth. However, they do nothing to dispel the idea that short equals angry - the apochryphal ‘‘short man syndrome,’’ whereby short men act more aggressively to make up for their lack of height.
David Kirk was short and he was Rhodes scholar and captained the All Blacks to a world cup. But he was good at sport and reasonably smart and probably worked reasonably hard at both so being short was neither here nor there. Not sure if he was angry or not.
Napolean was short - supposedly 5’2’’ inches. But he was good at building empires so again height probably wasn’t much of a thing. He may have needed a hand up getting on his horse but by and large he just got on with it.
He was probably very angry but he channelled it well.
Frodo was certainly short and not angry. He managed to make it all the way to Mordor and destroy the ring without losing his rag. He was also not real.
Still middle age has a funny way of making height largely irrelevant which is fortunate if it’s true that you eventually start shrinking with old age.
And if I was an angry little man that is mellowing with age. I do still get a little tetchy at being patted on the head but I don’t think I’m alone there.