We aren’t the calypso kings, and never will be.
The first-test defeat at Lord’s was bitterly disappointing, leaving major question marks around the Brendon McCullum show.
The English media led the lauding of New Zealand for an “ultraattacking style” — as one of our scribes dubbed it — restoring charm to the test arena. They weren’t alone. McCullum said: “[there’s an] element of pride that we continue to play a style of cricket that gives us our greatest chance.”
Wrong, pal, or at least highly debatable. To recap, try this. The ground was being prepared to label this New Zealand team as our finest. England’s captain was under pressure, they had no coach, and no chance of getting out of the Kevin Pietersen controversy. We lost, and very badly considering how the game played out.
With all due respect to the man, and he deserves plenty, the pride in a fall business isn’t good enough. Cricket tests ebb and flow, and tactics need reviewing. The cricketers want to be heralded like All Blacks. Okay then.
Would an All Black captain react like that after defeat? What about an Australian cricket captain? Can you imagine Sir Richard Hadlee thinking that way? Yet big bad world No 3 New Zealand became happy little court jesters at the push of a PR button.
McCullum had a great World Cup but even there, his own batting tactic in a dismal final outing was highly questionable. Yet he can seemingly brush off any analysis by playing the entertainment card. Even his own disappointing batting at Lord’s has been lost in this mist.
We aren’t the calypso kings, and never will be. Just how hard did New Zealand try to cut off Ben Stokes’ run supply, and see if a player yet to fully establish himself dealt with the pressure?
Further to that, players need to be themselves in the gruelling test arena. This attacking mindset may suit McCullum and enable him to be the star and media darling, but others don’t have the capability. Some — think Tim Southee — will turn a long leash into a lost puppy.
Quit the happy-clappy bizzo and get down to test warfare, troops. Many of cricket’s finest operators, from Glenn McGrath to Javed Miandad, did so by never giving a sucker an even break. The idea that attack must look like attack is nonsense.
We’re getting played for fools here. McCullum is doing wonders for cricket, but the big show is turning into a PR exercise. Even the much-admired dives around the outfield and into the hoardings are questionable from a 33-year-old captain with a famously bad back.
Come on, we’re still that respectable, overachieving little cricket nation with a couple of world-class players who must scratch and claw and fight.
While McCullum made it clear how much defeat hurt, he exaggerated New Zealand’s capabilities in saying, “There will be times when teams can stand up to you and withstand the pressure and come out on top.”
Like the Black Caps are a behemoth. Come on, we’re still that respectable, over-achieving little cricket nation with a couple of worldclass players who must scratch and claw and fight. Cheering attack in defeat, playing to the crowd, is not a legitimate defence. They’ve invented a game with that mindset — it’s called T20. Real cricket is more complex and compelling than that. Doyle’s influence showing Another victory for Jim Doyle? Sir Owen Glenn has done the right thing, putting his Warriors stake into a trust rather than pursuing a bitter war with fellow owner Eric Watson. Doyle made it clear to Glenn and Watson that he would take the Warriors CEO job only if they quit the public spats. I’m loath to praise Glenn too much, because the public jousting was childish in the first place.
As Warriors owners, they were guardians of league in general in this country, and had no right to tear down a fragile sport. But Glenn deserves a nod, for pulling back when he needed to. If one owner was to walk away, it had to be Glenn because Watson has been a stable backer for so long. Glenn was too much of a volatile quantity. I sense the hand of Doyle in this resolution, adding to a rapidly growing list of successes for the former New Zealand Rugby League and NRL heavyweight. The tough but affable Scot gives the impression he is a man who won’t stand for such nonsense. Good luck to U-20s — they’ll need it Fingers crossed for the New Zealand under-20 football side, in the hope they will do the business against the Ukraine in the opening World Cup game at Albany on Saturday afternoon. I’ve polled a few aficionados of football at this level, and would have to say it is hard to find much confidence. We’ll live in hope. A strong New Zealand display will be pivotal to catching wider interest.