As part of our Break the Silence series we are publishing a number of first-person pieces from experts. Today, Mental Health Foundation chief executive Shaun Robinson explains how everyone can help tackle youth suicide
I could have been a suicide statistic. Yes, it’s a pretty grim way to look at it because I’m much more than a number; I’m a loving father to two beautiful children and a successful leader of an NGO. But it’s true because a long time ago I attempted suicide.
Like hundreds of thousands of other New Zealanders, I got help and found a way through. I was lucky to get the right care, and incredible support from my family and friends. I’m proud to say that I now truly live well with bipolar disorder.
If you’ve lost hope, I want you to know that recovery is possible and a future is waiting for you that’s filled with hope and potential. I know that you probably don’t want to die. I know you want your pain to end or you can’t see another way out. Even if it seems impossible right now, you can get through and go on to lead a fulfilling life.
Make no mistake, there’s lots of work to be done to offer people, especially youth, a future that’s coloured by hope and opportunity. We can start by talking to young people about the issues they’re facing and working with them to find solutions. We also need to be committed to addressing things like poverty, racism, homophobia, transphobia and family violence because these things are driving poor mental health.
Addressing youth suicide needs all of us; here are three things you can do:
Keep an eye out, then act
If a young person is thinking about killing themselves, they might try to let someone know without saying so directly. If they’re talking about death, expressing feelings of hopelessness, reading or writing about suicide online, withdrawing from the people and things they love or losing interest in life, it doesn’t always mean they’re suicidal but they probably need some support. Tell them what you’ve noticed and ask what’s going on for them. Really listen, without judgment. If they have a plan to take their life they need urgent help so call the mental health crisis team or take them straight to the ED. If they’re not in crisis, find out what kind of support they’d like and do your best to help them get it.
Take the load off someone else
Loneliness is incredibly hard to deal with. If you notice young people sitting alone, being left out or not really connecting with peers or whanau, make an extra effort to connect with them. Invite them to join you at lunchtime, take an interest in their hobbies or do something new together. These small things can make a big difference.
Ask for help
I know it’s hard, but talking about how you feel or what you’re thinking with a trusted friend or whanau member really can make a difference. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s the bravest thing you can do. Go to your GP or straight to your local ED. Call a helpline. Don’t ever give up or believe that you aren’t worthy of help. You are.