NZ haven after hell of war
Sri Lankan refugee found Kiwi life had a few challenges too
Andrew Balaranjan’s memories of his childhood are of men with guns, hiding for hours in a bunker and of a torturous walk to safety. Balaranjan, 33, was born in the north of Sri Lanka in Jaffna, the capital of the country’s Northern Province, and lived in fear for the majority of his childhood during the Sri Lankan Civil War.
“As a kid growing up I couldn’t wrap my head around the realities of war. That had an effect on me because I was always fearful about what was going to happen,” he said.
Balaranjan lived with his mother and two older siblings, while his father worked away in Colombo.
He recalls seeing soldiers walking through their house, playing cricket with the village children and scrambling to safety when bombs exploded.
“A typical scenario was getting bombed, so every home had a bunker or safe place where you went into hiding.
“We were playing a life and death game of hide and seek. I still remember asking my mother, are we going to get killed this time around?”
In the mid-90s, Jaffna became a target and bombings became so frequent the villagers fled.
“It got to the point that we had no choice but to leave everything behind . . . take whatever you had in your hands and walk away.
“In our rush to leave the war zone, we left behind important family memorabilia such as pictures and albums of weddings, birthdays and the like. They are just distant, blurry memories to me now.” Balaranjan’s family walked for miles, sometimes without water. “It was a very horrendous and torturous walk because you had to walk for many hours,” he said. The family found refuge in camps along the way, where they slept in huts and had to stand in long lines to receive a little food. Weeks and much suffering passed in which they lived this nomadic life, until Balaranjan’s father could travel north and get the family to safety.
“I hadn’t seen him for many years, but he was able to come once it was safe and actually get us out.”
Balaranjan was 11 when the family reached Colombo, the capital: “It was relatively safe but it was still hard for me to sleep . . . I was so used to getting bombed and helicopter noises.”
Nine months later, the family reached New Zealand, after securing sponsorship from a grandmother and aunt already living in Auckland.
“I had no idea what I was doing or what a plane looked like,” Balaranjan said. “It was all foreign to me. I couldn’t even speak English. I came to NZ as a refugee with a suitcase on my back, not knowing how life was going to pan out.”
Balaranjan said arriving in a foreign country was like having to rewire your brain.
“I started school in third form at Selwyn College and communication was very difficult for me. I couldn’t express myself, what I was feeling or what I was going through because I couldn’t speak the language.
“I used to go into hiding at lunchtime as I was so terrified.”
Balaranjan took classes to learn English and about Kiwi life.
“All the small things you take for granted, I had to learn as it was all foreign to me.”
Encouragement from the people around him got him through, as well as his Christian faith.
“As a teenager I had no way of getting help because I couldn’t express myself, so I bottled it up for many years and did my best to cope with it, and I prayed a lot.
“The people from our family, church and their friends donated us clothing, cutlery, and taught us everything from how to find a supermarket to going to a GP.
“All the small things people did were big things for me because they gave me love, grace and compassion to help get me through. If it wasn’t for them then I wouldn’t be where I am today.”
After leaving school, Balaranjan studied computer science and information systems at the University of Auckland. He is a senior software engineer for an international company and uses his story to inspire.
“I want to be that positive voice and try to reach as many people with my story to inspire them and help them go on to do better things.”
On his Instagram page he focuses on messages of faith, and does public speaking within churches and refugee organisations.
“I want to inspire people through my words, because words have power. There is always a second chance or some sort of hope. No matter what happens you can always come out the other end.”