UK writer makes sport of Kiwi traits
Plenty of reaction to humorous tweets on bogans, cheese — and our sexy six
Visiting New Zealand really isn’t like stepping back in time to the 1950s, a UK writer says. But then our pubs do have “bogan hour” and we Kiwis are prone to taking sport — any sport — far too seriously.
And there’s our unfortunate propensity, Damian Barr adds, to pronounce the word “six” as “sex”.
The Glasgowborn author, columnist and playwright, who is staying in New Zealand as part of the University of Otago’s Scottish Writers Fellowship, has shared his impressions of Aotearoa in a series of humorous tweets that have been liked hundreds of times.
Barr began by pointing out to his many followers that New Zealand wasn’t Australia — and that there was nothing poisonous here “except a few members of New Zealand First” which Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern had “fairly under control”.
Ardern, he also noted, was bigger than pop star Lorde — and also known as just “Jacinda”.
Our chocolate got the thumbs up — Britain needed Whittaker’s hokey pokey “like it needs another referendum” — but our cheese, “mostly meh”, wasn’t so great.
Some stereotypes about New Zealand weren’t quite true — it wasn’t like the 1950s here, although some of the folk who moved here then wished it was — but others were.
“Sport, all sport, is taken far too seriously here. NZ got a medal for milking or something in the Commonwealth Games and front pages were held.”
Barr mused about New Zealand’s bogan culture — which apparently included “bogan hour” at pubs around 6pm, and Aussies being referred to as “the bogans across the ditch”.
He also offered a quick glossary of some common Kiwi terms: bach — “nothing to do with any composers” — and Les Mills.
“It’s not pronounced the French way and people will laugh at you for this. But no one will laugh to your face because Kiwis are mostly nice.
“To pronounce anything Kiwi style simply swap ‘ e’ with ‘i’. So eggs become iggs and six becomes sex. ‘I’d like six eggs’.”
“Yeah Nah” meant maybe; never; sometimes; possibly; sure . . . and all of the above. New Zealand was also beautiful. “Not uniformly or perfectly but spectacularly and surprisingly . . . and no yeah-nah about it.”