It hurts to say this, but Umaga must go

Things have got so bad at the Blues that the poor beleaguered captain James Parsons couldn’t bring himself to use the word “win”.

While the rugby league Warriors were packing in a vibrant crowd at Penrose, their Auckland professional footy rivals the Blues were packing it in against a moderate Chiefs effort in Hamilton.

League is the hottest ticket in town thanks to Steve Kearney’s Warriors, while the Blues descend into another season from hell.

“We came here to get a W,” Parsons kept telling a TV reporter, after the Blues had spent an entire half playing knucklehead ball.

What is that W thing you wondered. A whitebait fritter, a wheelbarrow, a wombat?

Oh, a win. Of course. One of those things.

While I don’t have the courage to check the stats, I suspect that a lot of things have happened since the Blues last beat a fellow New Zealand team — Brexit, Donald Trump’s presidency, women getting the vote. Stuff like that.

The bottom line to all this is that Tana Umaga, in his third and latest unfortunate season, has to get the axe as Blues coach.

But when you revere a bloke the way I do with Umaga, it’s very hard to write, so I’m trying to bury the message a bit. Hard to do though.

The Blues are a shambles and Umaga doesn’t have the goods as a Super Rugby coach. This is so obvious that it doesn’t even count as an opinion. It just is.

The Blues’ troubles run deep and a long way back, but they shouldn’t be this bad.

In a miracle to rival turning a giant feast into a small cracker and sardine, the amazing Ioane brothers were turned into the unamazing Ioane brothers in Hamilton.

A desperate Anton LienertBrown ankle tap stopped Rieko scorching off for a possible try, which sums up Ioane’s decline after his breakout 2017 season.

Apart from that, all that Ioane attacking power was lost in the crowd when the game was on the line.

What happened in Hamilton was just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

With victory in the offing, the Blues spent the entire second half defending, inviting the Chiefs to attack them again and again.

According to my very unofficial statistics, the Blues spent 110 per cent of the half on defence, although the official figure was only about 90 per cent.

Speaking of Brexit, Britain is doing a better job of getting out of Europe than the Blues did departing their own half.

They clung on by holding up a few mauls and . . . how do we put this . . . pushing the rules to the limit near their own goal line.

There’s a new rule this year that goal line defenders must have their feet behind the goal line, but there wasn’t a lot of that going on.

Eventually, the Blues cracked, via a penalty try from an undermanned scrum.

The thing is, the Chiefs weren’t very good. When a Chief did make a break, the support runners went all Chinese space station-like. There was an obsession with hurling long, wide miracle passes that were also Chinese space station-like.

It was raining opportunities but the Chiefs couldn’t join the dots.

The exception was Brodie Retallick, who was magnificent. He provided the game’s best offload, and a lot of other stuff. When Retallick retires or departs, the Chiefs, the All Blacks, this great nation will be in BIG trouble. The Chiefs did shut the game down expertly in the final minutes, and Mr Retallick was in the thick of that.

Anyway, better mention it again. Wish it wasn’t so, and it hurts to say. But Tana Umaga must be let go (ssssshhhhh . . . sacked).