Give that man a rose
Steve Braunias falls for Zac
[Zac’s] dance was really beautiful to watch. It had vulnerability, it had gentleness, it had all the feels. This guy is a serious contender to win.
Kids, ask your parents first, but text DWTS now. Calls cost 99 cents and the proceeds will go directly towards the production office. By the looks of things, even one call will double the operating budget.
The shabbiest looking show in the history of world television gets by on two rows of chairs for an audience of about 30 lost souls, a dance floor, a row of steps, and a lot of golden arches. Do you get fries with that? It’s
Dancing with the Stars brought to you by McDonald’s, by Pakn’Save, by the $2 Shop.
The stage is set for lords of the McDance. Amateurs, try-hards, losers. In fact last night’s show was packed with terrific dancing and star quality.
Zac from The Bachelor got a standing ovation from two of the judges. And that was just for his speech about what it means to be a man in New Zealand.
Instructions for living are everywhere these days and Dancing
with the Stars got in on the act with Zac’s lecture on masculinity last night.
“I want to challenge what it means to be a guy in New Zealand,” he droned. “How we should act. How we should feel . . . I want to be known as someone who isn’t afraid to show his vulnerability.” Fair enough. Zac was previously known as someone who wasn’t afraid to reveal himself as a crashing bore.
But we simply weren’t paying attention during The Bachelor. He’d put us all to sleep. Well, his dance last night was a wake-up call. It showed the real Zac. He has been given a second chance in public life and has taken it like a sensitive New Age man. His dance was really beautiful to watch. It had vulnerability, it had gentleness, it had all the feels. This guy is a serious contender to win the show.
He scored 24 last night, first equal with Naz and Chris Harris. Naz is likely one of those people who can stir a cup of tea and make it sensational. She’s not leaving any time yet.
Chris Harris danced from the heart. He wore it in exactly the right place: inside his chest. Shav smeared it all over her sleeve during her dance, pulling faces that were meant to express infinite sadness but suggested a bad attack of piles.
Roger from The Rock did a Bruno Mars number, and was so lively that he even looked like Bruno Mars, only smaller and balder and considerably paler. Sam Hayes looked frisky. Marama Fox looked like she was having a ball, rolling to the bottom.
Fox scored a low, low mark of 14. Her hours are surely numbered. The only person who can save her from being voted off tonight is David Seymour. He’s got it in him to be even more terrible than her, and become the first contestant to leave the show.
“I’m staying right here,” said cohost Dai Henwood. Good. He’s so thoroughly likeable, even though he had a shocker of a night. He forgot his lines, which is almost an achievement — his script only calls for about nine sentences. He also forgot his co-host’s name. “Over to you, Shannon!” he said to Sharyn. Then he laughed at his mistake, and said, “Oh God. I mean Rhona . . . ”
Please allow my vanity to explain this was an in-joke, and that I’m kind of the co-author. Last week when I reviewed the show, I wondered whether Sharyn’s name was Sharon or Karen or Shona or Rhona. The rather laboured point I was trying to make was that a lot of people on the show seemed to be nobodies.
But that was then, and now that the show is in its second week, the hosts and the contestants are already old familiar faces. They have personality. They have talent. They have all worked hard to be here and our reward for putting up with them is to watch someone die tonight.