Shock and awe: Buffoon turns serious
The David Seymour Show introduces a new twist last night as its star actually dances rather well
BThe David Seymour Show, the programme formerly known as Dancing with the Stars, introduced a surprising new twist to the series. Everyone loves it for the laughs, the slapstick, the farce. But last night it got a little bit serious. David Seymour, that reliable buffoon, actually danced quite well.
The judges just about cried with relief. Camilla, Julz and Rachel each gave him a respectable 7. It hasn’t been easy for them these past eight weeks. They’ve insulted Seymour, called him names, shaken their heads, reached for the bucket and filled it with vomit — but the public hasn’t taken the slightest notice, and voted for the creature from the Act lagoon in vast and overwhelming numbers. Text DAVID to 3333.
What began as a fairly shonky little dance show starring a bunch of nobodies has been transformed into one of the great comedies of the modern age. Research will almost certainly show that no one in the human race has danced as badly as Seymour since homo sapiens first started moving across the African savannah 100,000 years ago. But the worse he got, the more we loved it; to vote for him has been a joyous and liberating act, a New Zealand comedy, something subversive and happy.
His lame 1920s bather routine? Text DAVID to 3333. The time he walked around aimlessly to poor old Bic Runga’s lovely song Drive? Text DAVID to 3333. That gross twerk? Text DAVID to 3333. Good times. But his performance on last night’s show wasn’t ridiculous, terrible, laughable, awful, or even bad. He glided through the Viennese waltz with something resembling grace and elegance.
It’s a risky move. The point of Seymour is that he’s ridiculous, terrible, etc. Or was he holding out on us this whole time? Is he, in fact, the ultimate hustler? If he survives this latest round, he might show up next week dancing like Jagger or Nureyev — who wouldn’t want to see that? Text DAVID to 3333.
Seymour is the show’s star attraction, its memorable and hilarious gimp. The other contestants provide the sub-plot. There wasn’t much of that last night. Jess danced with her prosthetic foot. Julz and Rachel squabbled, again. Co-host Dai Henwood wet his tuxedo laughing at something that vaguely resembled a joke.
I woke up when Shav asked the public to vote for her, and said, “I’m the last Maori still standing!” This was a line from my review of Dancing with the Stars last week. Cheers, Shav! Viewers have been dying to see her off the show — she’s ended up in the bottom two in consecutive weeks — but I hope she stays on. No one dances as exuberantly as she does, not even the amazing Sam, who must be the favourite to win the show. Last night Sam scored a 9, a 10, and a 10, and even then it felt like she’d been shortchanged.
It’s down to Sam, or Shav, if the viewers can forgive her being a person of colour, or maybe Chris, who after all has the best feet — or, of course, the poignant clown, the gimp who has stolen the nation’s heart. Text DAVID to 3333.