Mum locked out of house

‘They got their dream home with the help of my money and now I can go to hell’

Amother invested $100,000 in a house to share with her family only to be locked out of the property and physically threatened.

The 66-year-old woman, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of further abuse, bought the property in Taradale, Hawke’s Bay, last year with her son.

The plan was for her to live in the bottom storey of the house and to share the kitchen. But soon after moving in, her son’s partner falsely accused her of stealing items and installed padlocks on the doors.

A kitchenette was installed in her part of the house without her approval and she was sent the bill. Her plants were torn out of the garden.

She was verbally and physically threatened by her son’s partner, she said. On one occasion, she had a washing basket thrown at her.

“They got their dream home with the help of my money and now I can go to hell — that’s how I see it,” she said.

It is not an unusual situation. Age Concern, which is running an awareness campaign this week, says family members are responsible for three-quarters of elder abuse cases.

“You read about it and hear about it,” the woman said. “And it does happen. But the saddest part is you don’t expect your own son to do it to you, or let his partner do it to you. That’s the gut-wrenching part of it.”

The woman’s son denied any mistreatment, telling other family members that she was lying and unstable.

An outgoing person, she said she became “quite sick” as a result of the abuse. Her sister, a social worker, eventually intervened when she saw how the woman had deteriorated. She referred her to Age Concern.

A lawyer helped her get a protection order against her son’s partner, which forbids them from coming on to her property. And she has been advised that, as a partowner, she can force the sale of their house. “I’m strong enough now to stand up to it,” she said. ” I’m not frightened anymore.”

The woman has also changed her enduring power of attorney from her son to her sister.

“If I can’t trust him in life, how can I trust him in death?”

Age Concern chief executive Stephanie Clare said shame or stigma often prevented people from reporting abuse within their family.

“This is one of the reasons it stays hidden. Many older people feel ashamed their own flesh and blood are treating them badly, so they won’t talk about it.”