Warwick and Pummy’s love story
Alzheimer’s has strained but not broken a 61-year marriage, writes
He fell for her as a lusty 13-year-old. Now Warwick Hickling, 83, is his wife’s fulltime carer. “All the boys were dead keen on the girls who were fully developed,” Warwick told the Herald cheekily.
“The girls who were flat-chested never got a look in. I’ll be completely honest, with Pummy, that was the number one attraction.”
On their wedding day, March 28, 1959, Warwick made a commitment to look after Pummy (Pam) in sickness and health. “Now it’s time to honour it. Simple as that.”
Pummy, 83, has been living with dementia for years. She forgets Warwick is her husband, struggles to know what to do with a fork, and at dusk walks around the house in circles talking to herself and the furniture.
The retired couple live in a house
Left, Warwick and Pummy much earlier in their marriage.
Warwick built at Wainui beach in Gisborne. They had planned to buy a cabin on a cruise ship — their first overseas trip together — but Pummy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Warwick was adamant he would care for her.
“This is the woman you’ve spent 61 years with, you’ve made love to thousands of times. Whatever I wanted to do in life, she always backed me. When we started on the farm, I couldn’t have done it without her.
“She had three little kids under 5, she was in the yards chasing the sheep, I’d be crutching all day. She’d sort out the wool then we’d go home at night and she’d cook a meal. You don’t forget that.”
He breaks off. “I’m getting emotional.”
Warwick says he never imagined he would end his days as a “house husband” and “nursemaid” but he still sees glimpses of the girl he fell in love with.
“I love Pummy as much as I ever did . . . I am happy doing the right thing. I can sleep with a clear conscience, knowing I’ve done my best.”